Congressman Shri Thanedar Pauses Immigration Hearing To Sell ICE Director Extended Warranty On His 2005 Honda Civic
WASHINGTON — In a bizarre exchange during today's highly anticipated Immigration hearings,…
Congress Holds Epstein’s Pilot In Contempt For Refusing To Answer Any Questions
WASHINGTON — A tense congressional hearing erupted into outrage Thursday after Congress…
Team USA Olympic Athletes Request Asylum In Communist China To Escape Oppression Of American Freedom
ITALY — In a dramatic mid-Games development, several members of Team USA…
Washington Post Articles Improve Dramatically After Laid Off Writers Replaced With Monkeys
WASHINGTON — In a bold restructuring move described by upper management as…
Tim Walz Calls For 10-Day Waiting Period For Apple Cider Vinegar Purchases After Omar Incident
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA — Minnesota Governor Tim Walz announced Thursday that he…
Celebrities Declare ‘Democracy Dead’ After Being Forced To Vacuum Own Homes Following Deportations
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Democracy itself was pronounced officially "dead" Thursday after…
Ilhan Omar Distracts From Daycare Fraud Scandal With Winery Fraud Scandal
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — In what's being called a Somalian 4D chess move,…
China Appoints Mark Carney Provincial Party Secretary Of Canada
BEIJING, CHINA — In a move described by state media as largely…
Tim Walz Relieved After Seeing Polymarket Odds Of Pam Bondi Arresting Him Are Basically Zero
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA — Minnesota Governor Tim Walz was seen letting out…
Worried Canadians Hold Intervention For Family Member Still Doing ‘Elbows Up’
TORONTO, CANADA — Concerned Canadian relatives gathered quietly in a semi circle…
IRS Reminds Paid ICE Protesters Earnings Still Count As Taxable Income
WASHINGTON — The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) issued a gentle but firm…
Heartbreaking News: 54-Year-Old Justin Trudeau Found Alive And Well At Davos
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND — In devastating news that has left the Great White…