Emperor Palpatine Demands Luke Skywalker Kiss Death Star Wall To Show His Fealty
CORUSCANT, GALACTIC EMPIRE-- In order to ensure the unwavering loyalty of all…
Alec Baldwin Cleared In Hamptons Crash After Mistaking Tree For Trump Supporter
EAST HAMPTON, NEW YORK-- In a stunning victory for selective justice, renowned…
Katy Perry Confirms Justin Trudeau Her First Lesbian Relationship
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- Amidst months of speculation and internet rumors, global pop…
Ben Shapiro Wakes Up Screaming From Nightmare Forced To Listen To His Own Podcasts
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- Drenched in sweat and clutching his hair, popular conservative…
Suspended Jimmy Kimmel Starts Support Group For Unemployed Celebrities Who Wore Blackface
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- As a way to deal with the stress of…
Studio Audience Relieved They Don’t Have To Pretend To Find Canceled Jimmy Kimmel Funny Anymore
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA- In what many are calling “the first funny thing…
CNN Issues Apology For Accidentally Reporting A Black-On-White Crime
ATLANTA, GEORGIA - CNN issued an emergency statement late Friday apologizing profusely…
Keir Starmer Attempts To Improve Abysmal Public Image By Appearing In Playboy
UK-- In a desperate bid to revamp his abysmal public image, UK…
Scandal: Hulk Hogan Posthumously Canceled After Unearthed Receipt Reveals He Purchased ‘Colored’ TV Back In 1983
U.S.-- Only days after passing away at the age of 71, the…
CNN Reports Japanese Police Searching For White Male Who Destroyed Tokyo
TOKYO, JAPAN-- In a journalistic twist that almost everyone saw coming, America's…
Kermit The Frog Converts To Radical Islam After Spending A Week’s Vacation In London’s Muslim Quarter
LONDON, UK-- After a mere seven-day vacation in a predominantly Muslim neighborhood…
Fired Stephen Colbert Spotted Holding ‘Will Tell Orange Man Bad Jokes For Food’ Sign
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- After being fired as host of The Late…
