NEW YORK, NEW YORK– Tensions are reportedly high this week after Fox News producers were forced to hold an emergency intervention Thursday, pleading with Attorney General Pam Bondi to go do some actual law enforcement and make some arrests so they could feature literally anyone else on their network.
Sources close to the network confirmed that the network’s prime-time producers have reached a breaking point, with Fox News hosts themselves showing signs of what psychologists are calling “Bondi fatigue.”
“Please, for the love of God, go make an arrest somewhere so we can finally book someone else,” a producer begged Bondi with his hands clasped together. “Can you please just go do some actual law enforcement so we can have literally any other guest on our network other than you?”
After Bondi completed her 669th consecutive appearance on Hannity within the last month discussing “the need for law and order” and “something needs to be done about crime,” CNN announced a new “Pam Bondi Tracker” to keep everyone up-to-date on how many times the part-time Attorney General appears on Fox News.
Bondi has been a staple on Fox News since her appointment as Attorney General, using the platform to decry rising crime rates and political corruption while failing to secure a single high-profile conviction or even simply an arrest. Her last major action was investigating a 2021 incident where a squirrel stole a bagel from a New York deli, explaining how she was so close to almost solving it.
