WASHINGTON– The White House has just confirmed that tonight’s State of the Union address has been cancelled due to Joe Biden’s body double calling out sick for work, leaving the president’s aides scrambling to find a last minute replacement for him since he’ll be sound asleep by 9pm.
“Yeah, Joe, I uh, cough-cough, won’t be able to make it in tonight for my shift,” said Biden’s body double Bo Widen over the recorded phone call. “I uh, got this last minute sickness, um, I think it’s the COVID, yeah that’s it, that deadly COVID virus, cough-cough. I’m definitely not on the beach in Florida with your wife or anything.”
Bo Widen has been Biden’s body double for about a year and was set to play the part of the American president for the extremely late 9 pm State of the Union speech while Joe was at home sleeping.
The president hasn’t had much luck being able to keep any of his body doubles for very long, with his last lookalike stand-in Moe Hiden quitting his job of playing Biden because he became tired of having to pretend to be a “demented, corrupt moron” everywhere he went.
White House officials have confirmed they weren’t able to find a replacement to play Biden for tonight’s speech so mainstream news outlets have decided to just play a two hour loop of Nancy Pelosi ripping up a copy of Trump’s 2020 State of the Union speech while telling everyone what a great job Biden’s doing as POTUS.
