Frightened Gavin Newsom Hides Under Bed After Guns Come To Life And Break Into His Home
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- A horrible crime happened in California yesterday after a group of guns magically came to life and then broke into the home of Gavin Newsom and began terrorizing…
Grieving Democrats Hold Vigil For Iran’s Fallen Austere Scholar President Ebrahim Raisi
WASHINGTON-- Mourning Democrat politicians held a candlelight vigil this morning for their fallen hero Ebrahim Raisi of Iran, calling the late Iranian president an austere scholar and one of the…
Discontented Zelensky Longs For Simple Days Of Just Playing Penis Piano And Dancing In Women’s Heels
KIEV, UKRAINE-- As the war between Ukraine and Russia rages on, disaffected President Volodymyr Zelensky took some alone time to reflect on both his new miserable life and reminisce about…
‘The Real Housewives Of Washington, DC’ Off To Explosive Start
WASHINGTON-- An all-new episode of The Real Housewives of Washington, DC went off with a bang this week as female Congresswomen AOC, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Jasmine Crockett fought in…
Biden Brings Back Chris Wallace To Debate Trump For Him Again
WASHINGTON-- The 2024 presidential debates are underway and President Joe Biden has finally agreed to debate his Republican opponent Donald Trump but only if he can bring back former Fox…
Justin Trudeau Passes Oxygen Tax On Amount Of Air Canadians Breathe
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In an effort to tackle the dangerous climate change epidemic ravaging Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has introduced a new oxygen tax that will force Canadians to pay…
Lindsey Graham Calls On Biden To Nuke United States To Stop His Neighbor’s Dog From Barking
WASHINGTON-- After warmongering lunatic Lindsey Graham told NBC news that Iran, Palestine, China, and Russia should be nuked, the South Carolina senator then called on President Joe Biden to nuke…
Biden Wishes Son Hunter A Happy Mother’s Day
WASHINGTON-- In a touching, heartfelt holiday message, President Joe Biden wished his beautiful son Hunter Biden a very Happy Mother's day on Twitter X, drawing the adulation of hundreds of…
RFK Jr. Says He Waited Until His Brain Worm Was Full Term Before Aborting It
U.S.-- Independent presidential candidate RFK Jr. gave a candid interview with former ESPN host Sage Steele where he stated that his stance on abortion is even up until full term,…
Kristi Noem Tries Making Amends With Dog Lovers By Shooting Her Cat
PIERRE, SOUTH DAKOTA-- After facing nationwide backlash from both Republicans and Democrats alike for killing her dog, South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem tried apologizing to the millions of dog lovers…
Democrats Vote To Allow People Who Identify As They/Them To Vote Multiple Times
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to be as inclusive as possible and not discriminate against people of different pronouns, House Democrats voted unanimously to allow Americans who identify as they/them to…
Boeing Promises Their New Line Of Hindenburg Airships Are Just As Safe As Their Planes
U.S.-- Facing national backlash after yet another plane malfunctioned this week, longtime aircraft company Boeing unveiled a new line of airships modeled exactly from the famous Hindenburg that exploded back…
