Trump Rally Secret Service Agent Put On Vending Machine Snack Detail In Case Chris Christie Shows Up At RNC
MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN-- After facing major backlash on social media for the way she handled herself during the attempted assassination on Donald Trump, the short, female Secret Service agent was taken…
Awkward: Democrats Not Sure What To Do About All Those Sympathy Cards They Already Sent Out To Melania Trump Last Week
WASHINGTON-- After a failed assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, disappointed Democrats were left embarrassed and scratching their heads at what to do, being that they had already sent…
Trump Feeling A Little Uneasy About Two New Secret Service Agents Suddenly Given To Him By Biden
WASHINGTON-- In response to an attempted assassination on Donald Trump's life thanks in part to a lack of protection, President Joe Biden finally agreed to give the former president additional…
Assassination Attempt On Trump After Biden Spent Last 3 Years Calling Him Biggest Threat To Democracy
BUTLER, PENNSYLVANIA-- An assassination attempt was made on former President Donald Trump after President Joe Biden spent the last three years angrily telling the world that he was the greatest…
Democrat Judge Dismisses Alec Baldwin’s Case After He Promises To Only Shoot Trump Supporters Next Time
SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO-- A Democrat New Mexico judge has dismissed the involuntary manslaughter case against Alec Baldwin after the famous Hollywood actor promised the court that the next time…
War Over After Biden Recognizes Putin As Legitimate President Of Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- During a speech at yesterday's NATO Summit, Joe Biden tried proving to the world that he's totally competent to stay on as president by telling the shocked crowd of…
Nancy Pelosi Drops Support For Biden After Finally Sobering Up From 52-Year-Long Binge
WASHINGTON-- Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi had a sobering moment after finally coming off of a 52-year-long alcoholic binge and realized that Joe Biden was not the best…
Biden Drops Out Of Race After Democrats Offer Him Extra Scoop Of Ice Cream
WASHINGTON-- After a back and forth negotiation between Joe Biden and members of his own party, the senile president finally agreed to drop out of the presidential race when Democrats…
Bed Placed On Stage So Biden Can Take Naps Between NATO Member Speeches
WASHINGTON-- The 2024 NATO Summit in Washington is underway and to be able to accommodate the senile, old Joe Biden a bed has been placed directly on stage so that…
Massive Fourth Of July Fireworks Display In Chicago This Weekend…No Wait, Nevermind, It Was Only 100 Plus Shootings
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS-- News outlets were originally reporting that there was a beautiful, impressive Fourth of July fireworks display in Chicago over the weekend, only to find out later that it…
UK Labour Party’s Keir Starmer Wins In Landslide After Promising To Increase Tea Time By 15 Minutes
LONDON, ENGLAND-- Millions of British citizens flooded their local election offices and voted in the leader of the Labour Party Keir Starmer after the center-left politician promised to make a…
Democrats To Replace Biden In Race With White House Teleprompter
WASHINGTON-- After going back and forth on whether they should replace Joe Biden with another candidate to give them a better chance at beating Republican Donald Trump, the Democrat party…
