Retired Dr. Fauci Finds New Job As Balenciaga Model
PARIS, FRANCE-- In what some are calling a smooth, lateral transition from United States government worker to perverted, bondage-themed Balenciaga model, Dr. Anthony Fauci announced he has launched a new…
Governor Newsom Gives Sharks Reparations For Hundreds Of Years Of Racial Oppression
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- Spurred by the recent The Washington Post article claiming racist white men have been oppressing sharks, California Governor Gavin Newsom has signed into law a bill that will…
Biden Soils Himself On Live TV To Show Dominance Over Putin
WASHINGTON-- After western news media outlets reported that Vladimir Putin soiled himself from a fall, an incensed Joe Biden showed his dominance over the Russian president and one-upped him by…
Pfizer Introduces Anti-Facts Vaccine For Liberals Affected By Truth On Twitter
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- With millions of liberals suddenly being exposed to facts on Twitter after Elon Musk allowed free speech on the social media platform, the world's most honest…
Apple Updates Logo To Better Reflect Their Pro-Communist Company Values
CUPERTINO, CALIFORNIA-- In an effort to better reflect their support for the Communist Party of China, Apple CEO Tim Cook recently unveiled the company's new logo that blends the old…
Dr. Fauci Enjoys Delicious Thanksgiving Beagle With Friends And Coworkers
WASHINGTON-- Retiring Dr. Fauci has decided to take a break from his busy schedule of pushing the totally super-duper safe COVID vaccine by celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday with his extended…
Biden Wishes Everyone ‘Happy Easter’ In Touching, Heartfelt Thanksgiving Message
WASHINGTON-- News Media outlets are praising Joe Biden's early morning inspiring Thanksgiving Twitter X post where the president wished all of his British subjects a very Happy Easter, proving once…
Instead Of Hockey Fights, NHL Players Will Now Do Each Other’s Makeup
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- The NHL has become the latest sports league to come out in support of the trans community with an official Twitter tweet that made major…
Controversy Arises After Photos Of Biden’s Pardoned Turkey Found On Hunter’s Laptop
WASHINGTON-- A major controversy has been brewing Monday after it was revealed that photos of one of the turkeys pardoned by President Joe Biden was found on Hunter's laptop, showing…
Fox News Promises To Constantly Talk About How They’re Not Going To Talk About Trump
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- The Fox News channel has promised to cut way back on giving Donald Trump airtime after embittered owner Rupert Murdoch blasted the hosts for speaking…
Democrats Introduce Bill To Abort Babies Up To 1,095 Weeks Old
WASHINGTON-- Going off of the momentum of their totally legitimate midterm wins, Democrats have introduced a nationwide bill that would make it legal for women to abort babies all the…
Biden Promises To Address FTX Scandal By Sending Another $100 Billion To Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- Immediately after the stunning revelation that FTX was a money laundering scheme using Ukraine to send money back to Democrat politicians, President Joe Biden vowed to deal with the…
