LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA– A seagull has been labeled a crazy conspiracy theorist by his friends for making the outlandish claim that a local Chinese food restaurant has been capturing the birds, cooking them, and then serving them to unsuspecting customers who think it’s chicken.
Sammy the seagull has been trying to convince his peers that numerous seagulls have gone missing after landing on top of the China Sea-Gull Restaurant ever since the Asian food place opened up six months ago.
“They’re eating us and pretty soon we’ll all be dead,” said Sammy in a panic while a flock of seagulls laughed and cackled. “Just this morning I saw Shawn disappear after he landed on top of the roof of that restaurant. Listen to me, everybody. You gotta tell them. The General Tso’s Chicken is seagull. We’ve gotta stop them somehow.”
Immediately after mocking Sammy, a few of the seagulls flew up on top of the roof when the Chinese restaurant owner strategically placed some fish up there to lure in the unsuspecting birds.
Once the owner caught the birds and chopped off their heads, he glanced down at Sammy and ran his finger across his throat to let him know that the seagull was next.
At publishing time, the town’s seagull population had gone extinct at exactly the same time that all the local cats had begun mysteriously disappearing.
