MERRITT ISLAND, FLORIDA– To what lengths will a man go to get away from his nagging wife and annoying children? One husband was so frustrated with his family that he decided to become an astronaut and go into outer space just to get away from his spouse and kids and finally have some alone time.
Local Florida man Henry Anulprobe was so fed up with his wife constantly complaining and his nine children berating him and calling him a “loser” that he joined the NASA program and became an astronaut, volunteering to stay in outer space indefinitely.
“This is one small step for man, one giant leap for my sanity,” said Henry while floating around in space all by himself. “What better way to save my relationship with my family than to get as far away from them as possible.”
Unfortunately for Henry, his quiet time of enjoyment was short-lived after his wife and nine children also decided to become astronauts and join him in outer space.
“Henry, you stupid idiot, you forgot to put the space ship’s toilet seat back down,” said Henry’s wife as his children floated around him and tugged on his spacesuit. “And don’t lie to me again and say that the toilet seat’s up because there’s no gravity.”
At publishing time, Henry had joined Elon Musk’s SpaceX program to go to Mars and get even farther away from his family, only to realize that there was a colony of irritating female aliens already on the planet.
