Trump Trolls Ron DeSantis By Picking Mickey Mouse As His Vice President
ORLANDO, FLORIDA-- As the Republican primaries get closer and tensions mount between candidates, President Donald Trump has gone on the offensive once again against his closest competitor Governor Ron DeSantis…
Japan G7 Leaders Force Zelensky To Sumo Wrestle For More Ukraine Aid
HIROSHIMA, JAPAN-- During the latest G7 summit, all the world's leaders officially came into an agreement that if Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky wants to receive any more financial aid then…
Harry And Meghan Barely Survive After Getting Chased By Kaleidoscope Of Butterflies
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- One of the most frightening events in history happened this week when Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were brutally and savagely attacked by a flutter…
CNN: Chickens Of Color Are Underrepresented On Chicken Farms, Report Finds
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- According to a breaking news report out of the world's most reliable news source CNN, a new study has found that chicken farms are disproportionately made up of…
Democrats Throw Cancer Patients Out Of Hospitals To Make Room For Illegal Immigrants
U.S.-- Democrats across the country have welcomed the numerous caravans of undocumented migrants and have given them free shelter by kicking thousands of cancer patients out of hospitals to make…
A Suddenly Lucid Biden Wonders Why There’s So Many Black People At His Klan Rally
WASHINGTON-- While giving a speech to a large crowd at a Morehouse College commencement, Joe Biden had an extremely rare moment of clarity and was confused as to why there…
MSNBC: ‘Trump’s CNN Town Hall Was Literally Worse Than 911 And World War 2 Combined’
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- A meltdown ensued immediately after Donald Trump attended a town hall on rival network CNN, with many newscasters like MSNBC host Joe Scarborough weighing in…
Klaus Schwab To New Twitter CEO: ‘Linda, I Am Your Father’
COLOGNY, SWITZERLAND-- Upon hearing the predictable news that Elon Musk had hired Linda Yaccarino as the new CEO of Twitter, World Economic Forum head Klaus Schwab was quick to put…
Dianne Feinstein Retires From Politics To Host New ‘Tales From The Crypt’ Reboot
WASHINGTON-- After taking a very long absence to reconstruct her body, 369-year-old California Senator Dianne Feinstein reemerged from her coffin to announce that she has officially retired from politics and…
George Santos Evades Arrest By Pausing Time Then Using His Super Speed To Travel Back In Time
LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK-- Just as federal authorities were about to make an arrest of George Santos on various charges, the superhuman representative from New York was quick to use…
People Magazine: ‘Jabba The Hutt Looks Truly Beautiful In New Underwear Selfie’
U.S.-- Tatooine crime lord Jabba the Hutt is the latest plus size celebrity to grace People's sexiest creatures edition, with the American magazine calling Hutt the sexiest, most gorgeous creature…
Biden Prepares For Nuclear World War 3 By Stockpiling Tampons, Makeup, And Hormones
WASHINGTON-- As tensions between countries continue to escalate, Joe Biden has taken a proactive approach and has announced that he has begun stockpiling much needed items for his new and…
