NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– One of the most frightening events in history happened this week when Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were brutally and savagely attacked by a flutter of butterflies, causing the famous couple to barely make it out with their lives.
While promoting their “Don’t Stare At Me” official tour, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex were forced to run into a hotel parking garage after a few orange butterflies suddenly came up from behind them and tried to murder the high-profile pair by flying around their heads in a cute but scary kind of way.
Harry was quick to dial 911 and call for help, saying over the phone, “Help me please, I’m being attacked by a vicious group of violent street thugs. I’m not sure if I’m still breathing right now. I think Meghan’s gone. Yes, she’s left us. Oh no wait, never mind, she just closed her eyes for a moment to meditate the evil monsters away.”
The NYPD was called to the scene of the incident and sprung into action by shooing the butterflies away with their hands while paramedics resuscitated Harry by slapping him across the face a few times.
Later on the next day, Harry and Meghan were once again fighting for their lives after a few pigeons pooped on the back of Harry’s jacket which led the couple to file assault charges against the felonious birds.
