HOUSTON, TEXAS– There was a minor disturbance yesterday morning when a drunk, babbling woman showed up at a Beyoncé rally and then walked up onto the stage and began rambling incoherently, leading Secret Service agents to escort the intoxicated woman off the stage so that the audience could get back to the celebrity that they actually came to see.
The tipsy female dressed in a pantsuit meandered onto the stage as Beyoncé hyped up the crowd with promises of never-ending, baby killing sacrifices disguised as women’s health care abortions.
“Are y’all ready to have some more abortions?” Beyoncé asked as the crowd of miserable, childless cat ladies cheered at the thought of ending life. “I know all of y’all don’t have any children and we want to keep it that way. We wouldn’t want any of you reproducing. So if we can defeat Donald Trump then we’ll make sure there’s an abortion clinic on every corner, and even inside supermarkets as you’re waiting in line to pay $900 for a gallon of milk.”
Just as Beyoncé was about to introduce a woman who wanted to talk about her 9,069th abortion, the drunken Indian woman staggered onto the stage and began cackling into the microphone as the crowd of shocked onlookers finally realized that she was in fact the Democrat candidate Kamala Harris.
Even though the rallygoers admitted that Kamala was a completely incompetent, horrible candidate, they still stated they were going to proudly vote for her after Harris promised them that they would be given free, unfettered abortion access in trade for nuclear World War 3.
