Criminals Accuse Other Criminals Of Being Criminals
WASHINGTON—Expressing feigned shock that a fellow member of the ruling class would…
Trump Orders Airstrikes On CNN Headquarters After Claiming Network Months Away From Developing Nuclear Weapons
WASHINGTON — In a stunning escalation of his long-running feud with the media,…
Gavin Newsom Appoints Gavin Newsom To Investigate Fraud Committed Under Gavin Newsom
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Following a relentless barrage of reports from pesky independent…
Trump Releases Official Limited-Edition Gold Nuclear Fallout Masks
WASHINGTON — As global tensions continue to rise over the escalating conflict…
Pam Bondi Reassigned As White House Easter Bunny In Lateral Move
WASHINGTON — Just weeks after being abruptly ousted from her position as the…
Congress Takes Break From Doing Nothing To Continue Doing Nothing For Easter
WASHINGTON — Exhausted from months of not doing anything productive, members of…
Nation’s Elite Pedophiles Send Fired Pam Bondi Tearful ‘Sorry To See You Go’ Card
WASHINGTON—Calling her the best friend the predator class has ever had, the…
Eric Swalwell Claims He Couldn’t Have Slept With Fang Fang Because She’s A Woman
WASHINGTON — In a stunning new defense against allegations that he had…
Trump Tells American Children Iran Executed The Easter Bunny
WASHINGTON — In a solemn and deeply moving Easter week address, President…
Nation Beginning To Suspect Congress Is Not Acting In Their Best Interests
WASHINGTON — Following decades of stagnant wages, crumbling infrastructure, and the rising…
JD Vance Conducts High-Stakes Iran Talks Through Trump Sock Puppet
TEHRAN, IRAN — In a move officials are calling innovative and cost-effective,…
Biden Volunteers For TSA Duty So He Can Legally Grope Women Again
WASHINGTON — Citing his deep commitment to public service, former President Joe…
