AOC: ‘Trust Me, I Know The Law, I Watched 5 Seasons Of Law & Order’
WASHINGTON-- After receiving a lot of flack over her comment that RICO is not a crime, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) D-NY came to her own defense and proved all of…
Biden To Latinos: ‘If You Vote For Trump Over Me Then You Ain’t Black’
PHOENIX, ARIZONA-- During a campaign event in Arizona to stop more minorities from leaving the Democrat plantation, President Joe Biden told a room full of Latinos that if they're for…
Cautious Vampire Worried Next Victim May Be COVID Vaccinated
SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA-- Not certain who's safe to bite anymore, a distressed vampire out of California said he's scared of drinking living human being's blood nowadays due to so many people…
Royal Family Announces King Charles Will Return As Soon As He Regenerates New Human Skin Covering
LONDON, ENGLAND-- Yet another mystery has surrounded the Royal Family as head patriarch King Charles has gone missing, but a Royal announcement released today told everyone not to worry because…
Biden Paints White House Brown In Celebration Of St. Patrick’s Day
WASHINGTON-- In celebration of St. Patrick's Day, President Joe Biden has joined in on the holiday festivities by having the White House painted brown as part of his proud Irish…
Snake Plissken Murdered Only Minutes After Entering Current New York City On New Mission
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Famous antihero S.D. Bob Snake Plissken was killed recently inside of today's current crime-ridden New York City while on yet another dangerous mission, getting murdered…
Canada’s Justin Trudeau Elected New Prime Minister Of Haiti
PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI-- Amid the mass amount of riots and chaos happening currently in Haiti, the island's Prime Minister Ariel Henry has resigned from his leadership position and it has already…
Boeing Hires Priests To Read Passengers Their Last Rites Before Boarding Planes
U.S.-- Due to the numerous malfunctions and accidents involving Boeing planes recently, longtime aircraft company Boeing announced they have now hired thousands of priests to stand near the airport gates…
Elon Musk Selling Ad Space On SpaceX Rocket
BOCA CHICA, TEXAS-- In celebration of the successful launch of a rocket test flight into space, Twitter X owner Elon Musk announced that he will now be selling ad space…
White House Claims Biden Told His Ghostwriter Classified Information Only Because He Thought He Was Talking To A Real Ghost
WASHINGTON-- With the House Republican investigation into Joe Biden's mishandling of classified information heating up, White House officials were quick to point out that, yes Biden told his ghostwriter things…
FDNY Commissioner Punishes New York Firefighters By Making Them Stay In New York
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- After New York firefighters booed Attorney General Letitia James during a ceremony, FDNY Commissioner Laura Kavanagh promised to punish all the staffers responsible by forcing…
John Cena Gets Neutered Live On Stage At The Oscars
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA-- The Oscars awards show was a big hit last night and the highlight of the evening was WWE wrestler and current actor John Cena walking out onto the…
