Libertarian Party Nominates Chase Oliver In Effort To Get Even Less Than 3% Of National Vote
U.S.-- The Libertarian Party has thrown their dirty hat into the presidential ring by officially nominating gay, far-left Chase Oliver as their nominee, saying that their ultimate goal is to…
Biden Promises To Pardon Jeffrey Dahmer Day One If Reelected
WEST POINT, NEW YORK-- While giving a speech at a West Point Naval Academy commencement, President Joe Biden told the crowd of uncomfortable graduates that if they reelect him for…
RIP: Millions Of Americans Vote To Replace George Floyd Statue With Sculpture Of Kabosu Meme Dog
U.S.-- There was sad news this week after it was reported that world-famous Japanese Shiba Inu dog Kabosu had passed away at the age of 18-years-old, with millions of Americans…
Biden Requests New Debate Format Of Him Just Lying Down Inside His Basement
WASHINGTON-- President Joe Biden has finally agreed to debate his Republican opponent Donald Trump, but has made sure there were a few minor stipulations, including him just staying at home…
Frightened Gavin Newsom Hides Under Bed After Guns Come To Life And Break Into His Home
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- A horrible crime happened in California yesterday after a group of guns magically came to life and then broke into the home of Gavin Newsom and began terrorizing…
Grieving Democrats Hold Vigil For Iran’s Fallen Austere Scholar President Ebrahim Raisi
WASHINGTON-- Mourning Democrat politicians held a candlelight vigil this morning for their fallen hero Ebrahim Raisi of Iran, calling the late Iranian president an austere scholar and one of the…
Discontented Zelensky Longs For Simple Days Of Just Playing Penis Piano And Dancing In Women’s Heels
KIEV, UKRAINE-- As the war between Ukraine and Russia rages on, disaffected President Volodymyr Zelensky took some alone time to reflect on both his new miserable life and reminisce about…
‘The Real Housewives Of Washington, DC’ Off To Explosive Start
WASHINGTON-- An all-new episode of The Real Housewives of Washington, DC went off with a bang this week as female Congresswomen AOC, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Jasmine Crockett fought in…
Biden Brings Back Chris Wallace To Debate Trump For Him Again
WASHINGTON-- The 2024 presidential debates are underway and President Joe Biden has finally agreed to debate his Republican opponent Donald Trump but only if he can bring back former Fox…
Justin Trudeau Passes Oxygen Tax On Amount Of Air Canadians Breathe
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In an effort to tackle the dangerous climate change epidemic ravaging Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has introduced a new oxygen tax that will force Canadians to pay…
Lindsey Graham Calls On Biden To Nuke United States To Stop His Neighbor’s Dog From Barking
WASHINGTON-- After warmongering lunatic Lindsey Graham told NBC news that Iran, Palestine, China, and Russia should be nuked, the South Carolina senator then called on President Joe Biden to nuke…
Biden Wishes Son Hunter A Happy Mother’s Day
WASHINGTON-- In a touching, heartfelt holiday message, President Joe Biden wished his beautiful son Hunter Biden a very Happy Mother's day on Twitter X, drawing the adulation of hundreds of…
