BRONX, NEW YORK– A group of bears hiking in a park in New York barely escaped with their lives after getting chased by a wild RFK Jr. this week.
The bears lived to tell their tale and said they were minding their own business while out on a trail sightseeing when out of nowhere Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. came running at them at top speed before the frightened grizzly bears quickly ran up a tree to escape.
“I was scared for me and my cubs lives,” said Mama Bear to Fox News reporters days after the incident. “We saw on the news recently that RFK Jr. had dumped a bear cub’s body in the park years ago because he wanted to eat him. I never would’ve imagined that me and my cubs would almost be RFK’s next victims.”
Political experts told Fox News that although RFK Jr. attacks are rare, they are urging any bears to be extra careful while out in public and recommend that if they do get attacked by Kennedy to drop on the ground and pretend to be dead from the COVID vaccine.
When reached for comment, RFK Jr. said he was only playing a prank on the bears and wasn’t going to harm then because he had already eaten bear for breakfast. After hearing of RFK Jr.’s attack on the bears, podcaster Joe Rogan came out and endorsed Kennedy for president, saying that’s the kind of man needed in the White House.
