WASHINGTON– News media outlets have apologized after reporting that a dead body was discovered in Congress, only later to discover that the seemingly lifeless corpse was just the very much alive Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell.
“We have an update on the body discovered inside Congress this morning,” said a Fox News host with a smirk on her face. “Earlier we reported that Congressional aides had located a dead body inside of Capitol Hill, but the corpse was later identified as only Senator Mitch McConnell. We apologize for the inconvenience, or for getting too many people’s hopes up.”
The 192-year-old Mitch McConnell, who now communicates through blinking, said that he was perfectly fine, and that he can still do his job just as well as he did over one hundred years ago.
Various news media outlets later announced yet another retraction after reporting that another dead body had been found, but was later identified as the still breathing Maxine Waters.
