Media Praises Biden For Executing MAGA Republican During Riveting Speech
WASHINGTON-- President Joe Biden is being heralded as a hero by mainstream media outlets for his execution of a MAGA Republican during his recent speech, with some leftwing political pundits…
Black-Robed Biden Executes Order 66 On MAGA Republicans During Impassioned Speech
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to bring order to the United States, a black robed President Joe Biden executed an Order 66 identifying all MAGA Republicans as traitors to the Galactic…
FBI Fires Agent Fox Mulder For Seeking The Truth
WASHINGTON-- After spending his entire career searching for the truth, Special Agent Fox Mulder was officially terminated by the FBI and has already been replaced by a pink-haired, evidence-destroying diversity hire.…
Democrat Turnout Will Be Huge This Upcoming Election, Reports Expert Mortician
PHOENIX, ARIZONA-- With the upcoming November elections, many political pundits are predicting a very high amount of Republicans going to the polls. "But that's simply not true," refutes a mortician…
5-Year-Old Son Accused Of Leaving 39-Year-Old Dad Inside Hot Car For Three Weeks
AUSTIN, TEXAS-- A 5-year-old boy has been accused of leaving his almost 40-year-old father inside of a hot car during the summer Texas heat for over three weeks while he…
DOJ Drops All Charges Against Trump After He Tells Them He Identifies As A Democrat
WASHINGTON-- The US Department of Justice has officially dropped all charges against Donald Trump and will no longer be investigating him after the president informed them that he now identifies…
400 Pound Pop Star Lardo Is The Epitome Of Beauty And Health, Says Vogue Magazine
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- Gracing this month's cover of Vogue magazine is famous plus-size musician Lardo, whom fashion writers are calling "the most beautiful, fit, and healthiest woman on the planet."…
Startling Revelation From Ashley’s Diary Shows Biden Used To Shower With Corn Pop
WASHINGTON-- Shocking new evidence has been revealed recently out of the infamous Ashley Biden diary which shows Joe Biden's daughter admitting that the current president of the United States used…
Racist Man Charged With Hate Crime For Drowning Black Coffee With White Cream
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA-- A prejudiced man was arrested by federal authorities Friday and charged with a hate crime after numerous witnesses saw the man drowning a totally innocent cup of…
NYC Mayor Boasts New Record Of City Going 2 Minutes Without Crime Being Committed
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- New York City has hit a milestone this week after going a full two minutes without a crime being committed, causing Mayor Eric Adams to…
Biden Retracts Student Loan Forgiveness Offer After Realizing Money Was Supposed To Go To Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- Immediately after getting millions of Americans hopes up that he was going to cancel their student debt, President Joe Biden retracted his offer to forgive student loans once he…
Dr. Fauci Announces Plans To Open All-You-Can-Eat Dog Buffet After Retirement
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- Beloved doctor and canine tester Dr. Fauci has recently announced his retirement from playing a physician for the United States government and has said he's already planning…
