Progressive New Jersey Lowers Legal Drinking Age To 2 Years Old
TRENTON, NEW JERSEY-- The state of New Jersey made a progressive decision this week by lowering the legal drinking age from 21 to 2-years old, with Governor Phil Murphy making…
White House Accuses Bird That Pooped On Biden Of Being Russian Asset
WASHINGTON-- The White House released an emergency statement Wednesday regarding the pigeon that pooped on President Joe Biden's shoulder, saying US intelligence agencies have discovered that the bird is a…
AOC Dumps Out All Her Russian Dressing In Support Of France
WASHINGTON-- With the ongoing war between Russia and Ukraine, AOC said that she decided to dump out all her Russian dressing in support of Russia's ongoing invasion of France. While…
Giraffe Selected First Round Pick In 2022 WNBA Draft
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- The American women's WNBA basketball draft has come to a close and this year's number one draft pick is a giraffe from Africa, with her…
Florida, Texas Celebrate After L.A. Bans Liberals From Traveling To Both States
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA-- Once Florida and Texas heard that Los Angeles officials had banned official travel to the two states, millions of people in both states began celebrating the great news…
Biden Swallows Pelosi’s Dentures After Their Passionate Kiss At White House
WASHINGTON-- A freak accident happened on Tuesday at the White House when President Joe Biden accidentally swallowed Nancy Pelosi's dentures during their intense kissing session while celebrating the fine job…
COVID Virus Jealous President Zelensky Getting All Media Attention
WORLD-- World famous celebrity COVID virus went off on a Twitter rant early this morning voicing its displeasure at all the media attention Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelensky has been receiving…
CNN Tries Improving Ratings By Slapping Brian Stelter At End Of Each Show
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- In an effort to improve sagging ratings, CNN has decided to use the same winning strategy as the Oscars did with Will Smith's attack on Chris Rock by…
Biden Congratulates Whoopi Goldberg On Her Nomination To Supreme Court
WASHINGTON-- After hearing of Ketanji Brown Jackson's confirmation to the Supreme Court, President Joe Biden immediately got on the White House phone and called actress Whoopi Goldberg to congratulate her…
Elon Musk Now Controls Twitter CEO’s Brain With Neuralink
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- Immediately after purchasing a 9.2% stake in Twitter, Elon Musk's first order of business was to take control of CEO Parag Agrawal's brain and make all his…
New York City Passes ‘Don’t Say Straight’ Bill In Response To Florida Law
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Still fuming at Florida's recently passed "Don't Say Gay" legislation, Democrat-run New York City has responded by passing the "Don't Say Straight" bill which not…
Florida Officials Warn Residents Of Giant Rodent Peeping Into Children’s Windows At Night
ORLANDO, FLORIDA-- Government officials in Florida are warning parents to be on the lookout for a very large rodent that's been going around neighborhoods at night and peeping into the…
