Police Bust Local Catnip Dealer After Officers Pose As Cats
BURLINGTON, VERMONT-- Police in Vermont are being heralded as heroes for busting a major catnip drug ring after numerous officers dressed in cat costumes went undercover posing as real feline…
FBI Raids Nest Of Squirrel That Was Rummaging Through Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Trashcan
PALM BEACH, FLORIDA-- After receiving a tip that an Eastern gray squirrel was seen rummaging through Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago home trashcan, brave FBI agents swiftly swung into action and raided…
Shocking New Study Reveals That Death Is Leading Cause Of Death
PLACENTIA, CALIFORNIA-- A shocking new study performed by some of the world's top scientists has taken the medical world by storm after the researchers recently discovered that death is in…
MSNBC: ‘It’s 2032, The Walls Are Definitely Closing In On Trump This Time’
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- On a year 2032 episode of MSNBC show Morning Joe, host Joe Scarborough announced the breaking news that the walls are finally closing in on…
Martha’s Vineyard Democrats Turn Away Migrants After Learning They’re Trump Supporters
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- Immediately after discovering that the Venezuelan migrants were supporters of President Donald Trump, the Democrat-majority residents of Martha's Vineyard quickly called in the authorities to have the foreign-born…
Vacationing Liberals Disguise Themselves So People Don’t Notice Them Enjoying Freedom-Loving Florida
KEY WEST, FLORIDA-- In order to not appear like hypocrites, numerous liberals vacationing in Florida are wearing disguises to hide their identities so no one will recognize them and then…
Obama Drone Strikes Migrants To Keep Them Off His Martha’s Vineyard Property
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- In order to force back the encroachment of the staggering fifty immigrants who were dropped off at Martha's Vineyard, Barack Obama picked up where he left off inside…
It’s 2036, Bernie Bros Saying Sanders Still Has Chance To Win 2020 Nomination
MONTPELIER, VERMONT-- Still holding out hope that Bernie Sanders will get the 2020 Democratic nomination, Sanders supporters say that they're not giving up hope that the Vermont Senator may still…
Biden Proudly Shows Reporters His Rare Soiled Diaper Collection
WASHINGTON-- The most popular president of all time Joe Biden has let the world into his personal life by showing news reporters his ultrarare, cool, hip collection of used diapers…
Prominent LGBT Group Fights For Fetus Trans Rights
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- A well-known LGBT rights group out of California has taken on a new progressive cause by campaigning for trans rights for fetuses still inside the mother's womb,…
Biden Upgrades Trump Supporters From Semi-Fascist To Super-Duper-Mostest-Ultimate-Maximum-Fascists
HELL-- While giving a speech in front of the Gates of Hell along with his father Satan, President Joe Biden declared that the dangerous MAGA Republicans have been promoted from…
Dog Wakes Up To Strange Woman In His Bed After Wild Night Out
ROME, ITALY-- A dog was out on the town with a group of his canine friends when he got drunk drinking out of random public toilets and then woke up…
