BURLINGTON, VERMONT– Police in Vermont are being heralded as heroes for busting a major catnip drug ring after numerous officers dressed in cat costumes went undercover posing as real feline drug buyers in the three year long sting operation known as Operation: Whiskers.
Both police and the Drug Enforcement Bureau were on the scene to arrest head catnip dealer Frisky, saying the dangerous feline had no idea the officers who were dressed as cats were actually humans just wearing furry ears and a tail.
“Another dangerous drug dealer was taken off the streets this morning,” said Chief of Police Clancy Wiggum to news reporters as the heroic police officers licked their paws. “I’d like to especially thank the Burlington police force for their dedication at pretending to be cats so convincingly that they were able to fool hundreds of real cats into believing they were one of them.”
Chief Wiggum said the brave undercover officers went through ten weeks of vigorous training to learn how to behave just like cats, including learning how to meow, hiss, urinate into a litterbox, and wash their bellies with their tongues.”
“There is one slight downside to all of this,” said Chief Wiggum with a smirk. “After pretending to be cats for twenty-four hours a day and three years straight our undercover officers have had difficulty reacclimating themselves to being human again, with many members of the force still getting down on their knees to eat out of a bowl and urinating around the police station to mark their territory.”
