ATLANTA, GEORGIA– After facing major backlash for her statement about there being no such thing as fetal heartbeats at six weeks, Stacey Abrams was approached by one of her aides and then handed a Snickers candy bar in an effort to get the Democrat back to her old self where she only talks about how she was cheated out of the Georgia governorship.
While giving another speech, a hungry Abrams began reiterating her stance of a lack of six week fetal heartbeats and was quickly given a Snickers bar by one of her nervous aides. After quickly eating one hundred of the milk chocolate candy bars, Abrams shook her head and realized what she had done.
“I’m sorry, everyone, I was hungry when I made that statement earlier about no fetal heartbeats at six weeks,” said Abrams as the crowd breathed a sigh of relief. “But now that I’m back to feeling like myself and thinking clearly, I admit I was wrong about there being no such thing as a heartbeat at six weeks. What I meant to say is that there’s no such thing as a heartbeat at forty weeks.”
Democrats on Twitter praised Abrams for her bravery at telling the truth and quickly debunked anyone who opposed the foolish notion that there’s a heartbeat in a fetus at 40 weeks.
Once her aides realized she was still hungry and spreading misinformation, Abrams ate another hundred Snickers bars and then clarified her earlier statement by saying there’s no such thing as heartbeats in five-year-old children.
