WASHINGTON– The most popular president of all time Joe Biden has let the world into his personal life by showing news reporters his ultrarare, cool, hip collection of used diapers that he has been saving since he first began wearing diapers when he was a baby.
After enthralled news reporters made their way into the White House, Biden took them on an exciting tour of the Oval Office that he had Secret Service recently turn into a room to showcase his very extensive array of soiled diapers.
“I bet you stupid bastards have never seen a collection of diapers as breathtaking as this?” Biden asked the camera crew as they vomited as a sign of awe. “I’ve been collecting these my entire life. I’ve got shitty diapers inside this room that are older than some of you pretty, young female journalists.”
Members of the media said the smell of Biden’s wafting fecal matter and urine filled the former Oval Office room like an enchanting spirit, with the aroma of a senile man’s rotting feces making a permanent place inside of their hungry nostrils.
CNN host Don Lemon was on the scene after volunteering to leave the studio to get a rare glimpse of the undergarments of the sitting POTUS.
“President Biden’s soiled Depends diapers have lifted my spirits and cured my doldrums,” said Lemon as he buried his nose within Biden’s Vatican diaper collection. “Not since President Obama has a president shown us his most beautiful, endearing personal side by giving us an up close look into the browns and yellows of his everlasting soul.”
While giving reporters the tour, Biden soiled himself once again, gracefully adding another stunning diaper to his already massive collection.
“It’s so wonderful having a president now who doesn’t embarrass us in front of the world like Trump did,” said Lemon as First Lady Jill wiped Biden’s behind and then put a new diaper on him.
