Genius: Trump Hangs ‘Epstein Island’ Sign On Trump Tower So FBI Won’t Raid It
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- In order to avoid another FBI raid on one of his properties, chess master Donald Trump quickly hung a very large sign that read "Epstein Island"…
FBI Confiscates Trump’s Boxers And Briefs After Raiding His Underwear Drawer
PALM BEACH, FLORIDA-- In a major win for the federal government this week, FBI agents reported that they have retrieved all of Donald Trump's underwear after they got a warrant…
Congress Passes Bill That Will Just Send One Hundred Percent Of American’s Paychecks Directly To Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- In a unanimous bipartisan decision, Congress passed a bill that will help struggling US citizens by sending one hundred percent of all working American's paychecks directly to Ukraine. Senate…
Obese Man Under Fire For Refusing To Leave Tip After Eating The Waiter
PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA-- An obese man has been taking a lot of heat on social media after a video was posted of him leaving a buffet-style restaurant without leaving a tip…
Lizard Person Liz Cheney Removes Human Skin To Appeal To Reptile Demographic
WASHINGTON-- In a last ditch effort to help her struggling campaign to get reelected, Liz Cheney has removed the human skin that was hiding her lizard face and has been…
Democrats Hire Officer Barbrady From South Park To Yell ‘Nothing To See Here’ At Rigged Polling Stations
WASHINGTON-- Frustrated with Americans calling for election integrity, Democrat politicians recently hired former South Park cop Officer Barbrady to stand in front of voting places and tell nosy people to…
Sesame Street Executes White Male Muppet To Prove They’re Not Racist
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-- After receiving major backlash for one of their Muppet characters ignoring a black customer, Sesame Street made up for their mistake and proved that the company's not…
Nancy Pelosi’s Taiwan Trip Cut Short After Country Runs Out Of Alcohol
TAIPEI CITY, TAIWAN-- House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's trip to Taiwan was abruptly cut short this week after she had finished drinking the entire country's supply of alcohol, quickly getting aboard…
Biden Delivers Stern Warning To Putin: ‘Russia’s Army No Match For US Servicemen In Dresses And High-Heels’
WASHINGTON-- In a show of major confidence, President Joe Biden has threatened Vladimir Putin by telling the Russian president that his army is no match for the highly skilled crossdressing…
Bill Barr Wants Special Counsel Probe Into Hunter Biden For Stealing His Bucket Of Fried Chicken
WASHINGTON-- Former Attorney General Bill Barr has called on the Department of Justice to open an investigation into Hunter Biden immediately, claiming that President Biden's son stole his bucket of…
California Governor Gavin Newsom Begins Collecting Property Taxes On Homeless People’s Cardboard Boxes
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In an effort to collect more money to pay for California politician's extravagant lifestyles, Governor Gavin Newsom signed a bill into law that will start placing property taxes…
Due to Biden Inflation, A Penny For Your Thoughts Now Cost $10
U.S.-- Americans will now have to pay more to be able to find out what's on other people's minds, thanks to President Joe Biden's skyrocketing inflation that's now spiraled into…
