Jimmy Kimmel Tests Positive For LAME
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA-- In a tearful opening monologue Monday night, late night host Jimmy Kimmel revealed to the world that he has tested positive for LAME, with his doctors informing him…
US Disinformation Governance Board Hires CNN Hosts To Give Everyone The Real Facts
WASHINGTON-- The Disinformation Governance Board has recently hired all the highly respected and totally honest hosts from CNN as a way to get the real truth out to the American…
In Retaliation Of Florida, Disney World Relocates To More Suitable Epstein Island
LITTLE SAINT JAMES, VIRGIN ISLANDS-- In response to all the turmoil they've been receiving from Florida, Disney World recently moved their entertainment resort to the much more apt Epstein Island…
With New Jersey’s Ban On Plastic, Black Market Selling Of Plastic Bags On The Rise
TRENTON, NEW JERSEY-- After New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy signed into law banning plastic bags, crafty hustlers have already started illegally selling the dangerous plastic bags on the black market…
FBI Poses As Ghosts To Try And Stop Illegal Ghost Gun Operation
WASHINGTON-- To try and thwart the very dangerous ghost gun business, the highly qualified agents at the FBI have gone undercover as ghosts and have infiltrated the spirit realm after…
Biden’s Wife Jill Falls Madly In Love With Macho, Take-Charge White House Bunny
WASHINGTON-- Inside sources are reporting that First Lady Jill Biden has become smitten with the White House Easter Bunny after the aggressive rabbit took charge during the recent holiday celebration…
Biden Wishes Everyone ‘Merry Christmas’ In Touching, Heartwarming Easter Message
WASHINGTON-- News media outlets have praised Joe Biden once again after the president sent out a beautiful, thought-provoking Easter message wishing everyone a "Merry Christmas and Happy Fourth of July",…
Easter Bunny Shot, Killed While Delivering Eggs In Chicago
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS-- The beloved Easter Bunny was shot and killed this morning while delivering eggs and candies to children in Chicago during another violent weekend of gun violence and gang…
Justin Trudeau Bans Farting To Help Combat Climate Change
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In a major push to combat Canada's drastic climate change problem, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has officially made it illegal for anyone in Canada to fart as a…
Media Goes Gaga Over Adorable Photo Of Commander Taking Biden Out To Poop
WASHINGTON-- President Joe Biden has been heralded as a hero once again by American news media outlets after a photo began circulating of him pooping on a lush green field…
Progressive New Jersey Lowers Legal Drinking Age To 2 Years Old
TRENTON, NEW JERSEY-- The state of New Jersey made a progressive decision this week by lowering the legal drinking age from 21 to 2-years old, with Governor Phil Murphy making…
White House Accuses Bird That Pooped On Biden Of Being Russian Asset
WASHINGTON-- The White House released an emergency statement Wednesday regarding the pigeon that pooped on President Joe Biden's shoulder, saying US intelligence agencies have discovered that the bird is a…
