EL PASO, TEXAS– In an effort to reach out to Texas Republicans, Democratic Gubernatorial candidate Robert Francis Beto O’Rourke has promised to finish construction on the southern border wall, saying that it’ll be a magical, unorthodox wall that’s totally invisible but anyone who votes for him can still walk through it.
While down at the Texas border, Beto recorded himself jumping back and forth between the United States and Mexican borderline and told his future twenty voters that he just passed through a finished section of the wall that he recently built all by himself.
“Wow, man, wasn’t that like the most psychedelic thing you’ve ever seen?” Beto asked after eating a few mushrooms. “If you vote for me, Beto, I promise to finish the rest of the border wall with my totally magical material that’ll be like totally invisible and trick everyone into thinking there’s no wall at all.”
The big, beautiful wall started by President Donald Trump, said Beto, had a few glaring problems, such as not fooling illegal aliens into thinking that there’s no wall, thus giving up the element of surprise.
“I can totally feel my subatomic particles passing through this thick steel, bros,” said Beto as he jumped through the air again.
“Look, bros, if you totally vote for me, Beto, I’ll use this magical Thor’s hammer to get the wall done,” said Beto, miming using a hammer. “I’m like totally reaching out to all you Republicans with the promise that if you vote for me, Beto, I’ll give you all superpowers like me so that you too can still walk through the wall.”
Beto promised that he’ll only be giving these superpowers to the Republicans that vote for him, but not to worry because the invisible wall will still prevent the immigrants from crossing over.
