NYC Mayor Boasts New Record Of City Going 2 Minutes Without Crime Being Committed
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- New York City has hit a milestone this week after going a full two minutes without a crime being committed, causing Mayor Eric Adams to…
Biden Retracts Student Loan Forgiveness Offer After Realizing Money Was Supposed To Go To Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- Immediately after getting millions of Americans hopes up that he was going to cancel their student debt, President Joe Biden retracted his offer to forgive student loans once he…
Dr. Fauci Announces Plans To Open All-You-Can-Eat Dog Buffet After Retirement
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- Beloved doctor and canine tester Dr. Fauci has recently announced his retirement from playing a physician for the United States government and has said he's already planning…
U.S. Federal Reserve Replaces Benjamin Franklin On $100 Bills With Ukraine President Zelensky
WASHINGTON-- Great news, Ukraine fans. The United States Federal Reserve has recently replaced the antiquated Benjamin Franklin $100 bills with the face of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, honoring the man…
Shark Sues After Breaking A Tooth Ripping Off Swimmer’s Leg
HONOLULU, HAWAII-- A shark from Hawaii has filed a massive lawsuit after breaking his tooth trying to rip a swimmer's leg off, saying the man's leg also got caught inside…
Brian Stelter Gets Rehired At CNN After Coming Out As Transgender
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- Inspired by all of the national attention being given to the trans community, former Reliable Sources host Brian Stelter told the world that he now identifies as transgender,…
COVID Virus Critically Ill After Getting Infected With Jill Biden
WASHINGTON-- The world-famous COVID virus has been reported to be in critical condition after getting infected with First Lady Jill Biden, with numerous medical experts predicting that the lovable virus…
IRS Seizes Dog House After Dog Fails To Pay Back Taxes
NEWARK, NEW JERSEY-- IRS agents are being heralded as heroes after going after a dog for not paying his taxes for numerous years, confiscating the canine's dog house and charging…
Genius: Trump Hangs ‘Epstein Island’ Sign On Trump Tower So FBI Won’t Raid It
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- In order to avoid another FBI raid on one of his properties, chess master Donald Trump quickly hung a very large sign that read "Epstein Island"…
FBI Confiscates Trump’s Boxers And Briefs After Raiding His Underwear Drawer
PALM BEACH, FLORIDA-- In a major win for the federal government this week, FBI agents reported that they have retrieved all of Donald Trump's underwear after they got a warrant…
Congress Passes Bill That Will Just Send One Hundred Percent Of American’s Paychecks Directly To Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- In a unanimous bipartisan decision, Congress passed a bill that will help struggling US citizens by sending one hundred percent of all working American's paychecks directly to Ukraine. Senate…
Obese Man Under Fire For Refusing To Leave Tip After Eating The Waiter
PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA-- An obese man has been taking a lot of heat on social media after a video was posted of him leaving a buffet-style restaurant without leaving a tip…
