Democrats Introduce Bill To Abort Babies Up To 1,095 Weeks Old
WASHINGTON-- Going off of the momentum of their totally legitimate midterm wins, Democrats have introduced a nationwide bill that would make it legal for women to abort babies all the…
Biden Promises To Address FTX Scandal By Sending Another $100 Billion To Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- Immediately after the stunning revelation that FTX was a money laundering scheme using Ukraine to send money back to Democrat politicians, President Joe Biden vowed to deal with the…
RINO Republicans Relieved They Won’t Have To Do Any Work After Joyous Election Losses To Democrats
WASHINGTON-- After losing a slew of expected races to Democrats during the midterm elections, RINOs in the Republican party were said to be cheering and celebrating the fact that they…
Male Hippopotamus Wins Local ‘Miss Tiger Pageant’ For First Time Ever
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA-- A male hippopotamus from California has become the first hippo contestant to win a local Miss Tiger beauty pageant, which has only had female tiger winners for…
The Washington Post Claims Staying Alive And Not Dying Is Deeply Deathphobic
WASHINGTON-- The Washington Post has come out in defense of dead people everywhere by claiming that selfish people who remain alive and well are extremely deathphobic, also saying that if…
Arizona’s Katie Hobbs Takes Lead After Thousands Of Votes Found Inside John Fetterman’s Neck
PHOENIX, ARIZONA-- Maricopa County election officials made a startling discovery Thursday after finding thousands of ballots lodged inside the lump on Pennsylvania Senate winner John Fetterman's neck, with one hundred…
New York Criminals Relieved After Governor Kathy Hochul Wins Election
ALBANY, NEW YORK-- Criminals in New York have been breathing a sigh of relief after pro-crime Democrat Kathy Hochul beat out Republican Lee Zeldin in the state's very close gubernatorial…
Liberals Cheer Win, Saying John Fetterman Represents The Typical Democrat Voter
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA-- After John Fetterman very legitimately beat Dr. Oz in the race for Pennsylvania Senator without any fraud whatsoever, ecstatic liberals said that the newly elected Fetterman is the…
Big Bird Arrested For Peddling Medical Misinformation
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-- Beloved Sesame Street character Big Bird was arrested this morning after the large, yellow bird was accused of peddling false information regarding the safety and efficacy of…
NBA Apologizes For Kyrie Irving Controversy By Hiring More Jewish Basketball Players
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- Due to the backlash caused by Brooklyn Nets basketball player Kyrie Irving sharing a link that some deemed anti-Semitic, the NBA has apologized profusely and has…
Democrats Ask For Election Fraud Amnesty Ahead Of Midterm Elections
WASHINGTON-- A large number of Democrat politicians have asked the American people for amnesty for the 2022 midterm elections that they are planning on stealing in only a few more…
Gay, Black, Immigrant, Female White House Press Secretary Fired For Not Being Diverse Enough
WASHINGTON-- The Biden administration has announced that they have fired White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre for not being diverse enough or having enough inclusive points, stating that they have…
