UFC Hires Bud Light Spokesperson Dylan Mulvaney To Attract More Diverse Fans
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA-- In an effort to try and attract a much larger audience, UFC CEO Dana White made a bold move by hiring trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney to be…
Israel Makes War Friendlier By Putting Smiley Faces On Bombs Before Dropping Them
GAZA-- In an effort to make the horrors of war a little more pleasant, Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has ordered IDF personnel to place large smiley face stickers on…
Doctors Warn Having A Heart Puts You At Greater Risk Of A Heart Attack
NEW BRUNSWICK, NEW JERSEY-- A groundbreaking study has made the news this week after medical researchers at Robert Wood Johnson Medical School discovered that having a heart can surprisingly increase…
Netanyahu Announces Israel’s Invasion Of Poland
TEL AVIV, ISRAEL-- Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave a fiery speech on top of a darkened palace balcony to announce the mobilization of the Israel Defense Forces to attack and…
RINO Republicans Nominate Actual Speaker For House Speaker After Ousting Jim Jordan
WASHINGTON-- After taking a secret vote to remove Ohio Representative Jim Jordan from becoming the new speaker, a group of RINO Republicans were pleased to announce that they have found…
Biden Sticks His Chin Out To Help Get Humanitarian Aid To Gaza
TEL AVIV, ISRAEL-- While boarding Air Force One to depart Israel, President Joe Biden gave a brief press conference with news reporters about his willingness to stick his chin out…
Zelensky Changes Look To Try And Get More Money As Ukraine Support Wanes
KIEV, UKRAINE-- As the money began drying up due to more Americans losing interest in Ukraine and now supporting Israel, Volodymyr Zelensky decided to change his image by modeling himself…
Biden Flies To Israel To Check In With His Boss
TEL AVIV, ISRAEL-- A worried and subservient President Joe Biden flew to Israel today after he was summoned by his Israeli boss Benjamin Netanyahu to go over in person what…
Trump Learns Sign Language To Get Around Judge’s Gag Order
PALM BEACH, FLORIDA-- After a federal judge barred Donald Trump from speaking about certain aspects of his hush money case, the former president came up with a brilliant idea to…
Gavin Newsom Stands In Solidarity With Israel By Shutting Off Water And Electricity To Californians
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- As the war in the Middle East continues to escalate, Governor Gavin Newsom has made a pledge to stand in solidarity with Israel by also cutting all power…
After Sending Warships To Secure Israel’s Border, Biden Secures US Border By Sending His Thoughts And Prayers
WASHINGTON-- Only hours after Israel was breached by Hamas, Joe Biden quickly began sending aircraft and warships to protect the border of the Middle East foreign country, but also finally…
Eric Swalwell Falls Madly In Love With AOC After She Farts Out Seductive Mating Call
WASHINGTON-- During a recent livestream discussing the brutal war between Israel and Palestine, New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (AOC) changed the boring subject over to her horrid dating life…
