FBI Asks Everyone To Stare At Bright Memory-Eraser Stick Before Claiming Jeffrey Epstein Never Existed
WASHINGTON-- In response to the millions of angry Americans still calling for…
Trump Announces Historic ‘Nancy Pelosi Vs. 100 Vodka Bottles Cage Match’ At White House For America’s Birthday
WASHINGTON-- In celebration of next year's 250th anniversary of the United States,…
Lindsey Graham Disappointed After Finding Out ‘Big, Beautiful Bill’ Wasn’t Actually A Big, Beautiful Man Named ‘Bill’
WASHINGTON-- As though his whole world came crashing down around him, South…
German Authorities Condemn Terrorist Car Attack For Not Using Horn Before Ramming Crowd
BERLIN, GERMANY-- Immediately following yet another vicious car attack, German authorities were…
Obama Teaches Zohran Mamdani How To Forge A Birth Certificate For When He Runs For President
WASHINGTON-- With New York City Mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani's popularity continuing to…
UK PM Keir Starmer Offers To Take Illegal Haitian Cannibals Being Deported By Trump
LONDON, ENGLAND-- As soon as he received word that Donald Trump was…
Bernie Sanders Offers To Pay For Dinner After Taking Money Out Of Friend’s Coat Pocket
WASHINGTON-- In a bold display of what he called grassroots wealth distribution,…
Mark Carney Claims Canada Will Achieve Net Zero Carbon Footprint Once Every Canadian Is Euthanized
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In his quest to tackle the dangerous carbon epidemic in…
Canadians Place Iran Flags In Front Of Prime Minister’s Office So U.S. Will Bomb It
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After seeing how quickly the United States targeted Iran's nuclear…
Nancy Pelosi Furious After Trump’s Israel-Iran Ceasefire Tanks Her War Stocks Portfolio
WASHINGTON-- Only hours following both Israel and Iran's agreement to Donald Trump's…
Ben Shapiro Last Seen Watching Iran Bombing Footage With Lotion And Box Of Tissues
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE-- Numerous employees of conservative media outlet The Daily Wire were…
Desperate Zelensky Starts Selling Feet Pics Online To Fund Ukraine War
KIEV, UKRAINE-- With support for Ukraine steadily waning, a desperate President Volodymyr…