TORONTO, CANADA– Taking a page out of his predecessor Justin Trudeau’s playbook, Prime Minister Mark Carney was seen gleefully deliberating which elderly Air Canada flight attendant he’d like to see, as he called it, “gently nudged” by a Royal Canadian Mounted Police horse during ongoing labor protests at Toronto Pearson International Airport.
Sources close to the Prime Minister claim Mark Carney is thrilled to channel Trudeau’s 2022 Freedom convoy crackdown, where an elderly protester was trampled by a Mountie’s steed, with Carney having trouble deciding which old lady appeared the most trample-worthy.
“I’ve always been a fan of equestrian sports,” joked Carney, grinning from ear to ear. “I’m having difficulty deciding which one of those old flight attendants I’d like to see get horse-trampled first. It’s a tough decision, really. I have to show those insolent fight attendants what happens when you disobey my orders to go back to work. Nothing says strong leadership like a well-placed hoof to an old grandmother’s head to keep Canada a dictatorship.”
Reactions to Carney’s heavy-handed approach to the Air Canada strike was mixed among Canadian citizens, with conservatives saying it echoed back to the authoritarian tactics of Trudeau, while liberals praised the prime minster’s tough crackdown on the last bit of freedom remaining in the Great White North country.
In response to the backlash, Carney issued a statement apologizing for wanting to have old grandmothers trampled by horses, promising to make up for the incident by just having the elderly flight attendants euthanized instead.
