LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS– Recently uncovered audio recordings submitted by an anonymous source to various news media outlets show former president Bill Clinton telling voters to vote for Melania Trump as president of the United States.
In the recordings, Clinton can be heard telling a group of unknown people that Trump’s wife will make a wonderful president and that the first female president of the United States should be someone attractive.
“She’s definitely got my vote,” Clinton said in the muffled recording. “What this country needs is a female president who knows how to take control and make her demands, even if she has to use force to get what she wants.”
When asked by one of the unknown voters why they should vote for a woman who is not even running for president, Clinton stood his ground.
“Who would ya rather look at,” Clinton said, chuckling, “my wife or Trump’s wife? It’s not like presidents actually make any real decisions anyway, so we may as well have an attractive president to stare at when she’s making speeches on TV when you’re at home in bed with your wife or when she’s getting in and out of her limo while wearing a dress or when she’s bending down to pick up a pen in the Oval Office. Makes me kinda miss being in the game.”
Near the end of the audio recording, an angry shrill voice was heard in the background shouting at Bill Clinton. News outlets are surmising that the unknown voice was in fact democratic candidate Hillary Clinton.
“Bill, what the hell’re you doing?” The irate female voice asked loudly over everyone else. “You better not be telling people about Trump’s wife again or so help me I’m gonna wrap my meaty hands around your throat and choke you again! Got it?”
In an interview with Fox News reporter Megyn Kelly, Bill Clinton denied the allegations that his voice was the one on the recording.
“Nah, that’s not me, Megyn,” he said in a jovial tone. “People been ribbing me all day about that, but it couldn’t have been me. At the time I was on the campaign trail for my wife, telling everyone to vote for Melania, I mean Hillary. By the way, Megyn, you’re not gonna be running for president anytime soon, are ya? Just kiddin’
“This note here proves that I’m not campaigning for Trump’s wife,” Clinton said as he handed Megyn Kelly a piece of paper with a bullet list on it, trying to prove his innocence.
Look for former president Bill Clinton to hit the campaign trail hard in an effort to get whoever his wife is elected as the first female president. His next campaign stop will be in Austin, Texas where Republican candidate Donald Trump will be addressing a crowd of 60,000 supporters on why Bill Clinton keeps following him and Melania everywhere they go.
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