Republicans Jubilant Over Democrat Sweep, Vow To Use Same Strategy To Lose Midterms
WASHINGTON-- Jubilant Republicans filled the halls of Congress this morning, popping sparkling…
U-Haul Sees Record Profits As Democrat Voters Flee Problems They Intend To Recreate Elsewhere
U.S.-- American rental company U-Haul announced record profits this quarter, citing an…
Dejected Mark Carney Got This Slick Haircut And Cool New Suit For Summit And Trump Didn’t Even Notice
GYEONGJU, SOUTH KOREA - In a heart-wrenching display of global embarrassment, Canadian…
Trump Gains Mutant Powers After Drinking Japanese Tap Water
TOKYO, JAPAN-- During a diplomatic visit to Japan, President Donald Trump's body…
FBI Executes Daring 5AM Raid On James Comey’s Refrigerator, Seizes Leftover Pizza And Sandwiches
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA-- In a brave pre-dawn operation, the FBI carried out a…
Mark Carney Reassures Canadians Housing Crisis Won’t Affect Him Personally
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Amid a spiraling national housing crisis, Canadian Prime Minister Mark…
Justice Served: Convicted Felon Sentenced To 2-Year Term In Congress
WASHINGTON-- Handing out the maximum penalty in a landmark ruling, a federal…
Bernie Sanders Buys Fourth House To Store His ‘Tax The Rich’ Signs
BURLINGTON, VERMONT-- Only days after attending a "No Kings" protest against President…
Trump Welcomes Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese To White House
WASHINGTON-- In typical Aussie "Down-Under" fashion, Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese arrived at…
‘Chief Mouser’ Larry The Cat Catches Large Rat In UK Prime Minister’s Office
LONDON, UK-- Being hailed as a hero by British citizens, Larry the…
‘No Kings’ Protester Clarifies He’s Not Paid To Protest, Just Compensated To Participate In A Demonstration Not Driven By Personal Beliefs
PORTLAND, OREGON-- A "No Kings" protester in downtown Portland has clarified that…
Zelensky Secures Massive ‘Bang Gun’ Shipment In Historic Arms Deal From Trump Summit
WASHINGTON-- Hailed as a decisive turning point in the war against Russia,…