Emperor Palpatine Demands Luke Skywalker Kiss Death Star Wall To Show His Fealty
CORUSCANT, GALACTIC EMPIRE-- In order to ensure the unwavering loyalty of all…
Keir Starmer Sends Himself Congratulations Flowers For ‘Masterminding’ Middle East Peace Deal
LONDON, UK-- Only hours after the historic Israel-Gaza peace deal, UK Prime…
Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson: ‘Voting Rights Act Is Essential Because Being Black Is Basically A Permanent Injury’
WASHINGTON-- In what some progressive experts are calling a revolutionary legal framework,…
Blindfolded Keir Starmer Promises To Stop Any Illegal Immigrant Boats He Sees Arriving
LONDON, UK-- In response to the UK's mass immigration problem, Labour Party…
Rainbow Flags Flown At Half-Staff Across California To Mourn Arsonist Arrested For Starting Palisades Fire
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- Encapsulating the state’s commitment to symbolism over substance, California officials…
Gavin Newsom Angrily Confronts Man Responsible For Destroying California
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- Finally deciding to hold the person responsible behind the decline…
Mark Carney Gets Dominated By Trump After Forgetting His Elbows Back In Canada
WASHINGTON-- In an embarrassing display of international weakness, Canadian Prime Minister Mark…
Pope Leo Hangs ‘Sorry, Illegal Immigrants, America’s That Way’ Signs On Vatican Wall
VATICAN CITY-- In a decision condemned by some as papal hypocrisy, Pope…
RFK Jr. Announces New Tylenol Coated In Beef Tallow As Healthier Alternative
WASHINGTON-- In a move aimed at fighting autism and seed oil tyranny,…
Nation Struggles To Tell If Congress Shut Down Or Just On Another Vacation
WASHINGTON-- As the U.S. government enters its first week of shutdown, millions…
Taliban Issues Urgent Travel Warning For UK: ‘Too Oppressive For Afghan Citizens’
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN-- In a stunning reversal of geopolitical norms, the Taliban regime…
California Proposes ‘Burglary Equity Act’ To Ensure White Neighborhoods Robbed More Often
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In order to address the systemic racial disparities in California's…