DOJ Arrests Mysterious Black Rectangle From Epstein Files, Pam Bondi Declares Case Closed
WASHINGTON-- In a stunning breakthrough that Attorney General Pam Bondi is calling…
Gavin Newsom Thanks Californians For Sacrificing Electricity So He Can Power His Mansions
SAN FRANCISCO, CA-- Standing inside of the kitchen of his brightly illuminated…
CNN Viewer Switches To North Korean State TV For More Balanced Coverage
PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND-- A longtime CNN viewer announced that she has stopped…
Trump Calls Santa Claus’ Naughty List A Democrat Hoax
WASHINGTON-- In a combative press briefing on Wednesday, President Donald Trump fiercely…
Kash Patel Concludes FBI Would Function Perfectly If Agents Stopped Following His Orders
WASHINGTON-- FBI Director Kash Patel announced Tuesday that the bureau’s recent struggles…
Fox News Producers Beg Pam Bondi To Go Arrest Someone So They Can Book A Different Guest
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- Tensions are reportedly high this week after Fox…
Republicans Hail Bipartisan Compromise After Agreeing To Give Democrats Everything They Want
WASHINGTON-- Congressional Republicans celebrated what they called a “historic moment of unity”…
Scientists Successfully Teach Man In Parrot Costume To Say Swear Words
PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA-- In what is being hailed as a groundbreaking leap…
California Bans ‘Assault Matches’ And ‘High-Capacity Lighters’ To Combat Wildfires
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In a move to combat the state's annual wildfire apocalypse,…
EU Insists It’s Not Censoring Americans, Just Requiring Pre-Approval For Every Word
BRUSSELS-- Pushing back against accusations of authoritarian overreach, European Union (EU) officials…
Republicans Seen Literally Burying Trump’s Agenda Bill On Capitol Lawn
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to impede the MAGA agenda, several Republican lawmakers…
Pam Bondi Replaces Herself With Cardboard Cutout So She Can Spend More Time On Fox News
WASHINGTON-- During a surprise press conference held outside the Department of Justice…