Keir Starmer Declares Immigrant Knife Crime Epidemic Solved After UK Police Cease Counting Attacks
LONDON, UK-- In a historic press conference, Prime Minister Keir Starmer beamed…
FBI Executes Daring 5AM Raid On James Comey’s Refrigerator, Seizes Leftover Pizza And Sandwiches
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA-- In a brave pre-dawn operation, the FBI carried out a…
Justice Served: Convicted Felon Sentenced To 2-Year Term In Congress
WASHINGTON-- Handing out the maximum penalty in a landmark ruling, a federal…
Absentminded Terrorist Keeps Leaving Sticky Notes To Remind Him To Blow Up Building
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- According to sources close to the international…
Alec Baldwin Cleared In Hamptons Crash After Mistaking Tree For Trump Supporter
EAST HAMPTON, NEW YORK-- In a stunning victory for selective justice, renowned…
Rainbow Flags Flown At Half-Staff Across California To Mourn Arsonist Arrested For Starting Palisades Fire
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- Encapsulating the state’s commitment to symbolism over substance, California officials…
JB Pritzker Yells ‘Nothing To See Here, Move Along,’ As Antifa Burns Down Governor’s Mansion Behind Him
SPRINGFIELD, ILLINOIS-- Flanked by Antifa rioters in black bloc gear throwing Molotov…
Chicago Mayor Warns Trump’s Military Presence Could Disrupt Drive-By Shootings
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS-- In an impassioned press conference held this morning at City…
California Proposes ‘Burglary Equity Act’ To Ensure White Neighborhoods Robbed More Often
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In order to address the systemic racial disparities in California's…
BREAKING: James Comey Clears Himself Of All Charges After Rigorous 30-Second Self-Investigation
WASHINGTON-- Only hours after a federal grand jury indicted him on multiple…
Dallas ICE Shooter With Terrible Aim Revealed As Stormtrooper
DALLAS. TEXAS-- Only hours after the incident occurred, authorities have confirmed that…
After 3 Years, FBI Finally Narrows Down Waldo’s Location To ‘Somewhere On The Page’
WASHINGTON-- In a shocking press conference, the FBI announced today that after…