Trump Asks Siri If He’s Currently At War With Iran
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump paused a meeting inside the Oval Office…
Doctors Say Mitch McConnell Making Steady Recovery From Being Dead
WASHINGTON — In an effort to dispel mounting conspiracy theories regarding the…
Nervous Fauci Calms Himself By Imagining Rand Paul As A Beagle Getting Bitten By Sandflies
WASHINGTON — Facing another brutal, three-hour interrogation from the House Oversight Committee,…
Awkward Moment As Zelensky And Netanyahu Simultaneously Reach For Trump’s Wallet
WASHINGTON — What began as a routine diplomatic greeting at the White House…
Bombshell Fauci Diary Reveals The Hardest Part Of Fighting COVID Was Fending Off Biden In The Shower
WASHINGTON — After years of stonewalling, the House Oversight Committee finally released…
James Talarico Tries To Win The Black Vote By Looting Local Shoe Store
HOUSTON, TEXAS — In a desperate bid to salvage his collapsing poll…
Ilhan Omar Argues Embezzling $250 Million Was Victimless Crime Since Kids Were Made Up Anyway
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — Standing before a crowded press pool on Friday, Representative…
RFK Jr. Discovered Sleeping Upside Down On White House Ceiling To Improve Circulation
WASHINGTON — White House officials confirmed that Health and Human Services Secretary…
Democrats Vow To Protect Democracy By Making Future Voter Fraud Impossible To Detect
TRENTON, NEW JERSEY — Following the horrifying revelation that a New Jersey…
Republicans Celebrate Amnesty Deal Where Democrats Got Everything And Republicans Pretended To Fight
WASHINGTON — House Republicans held a triumphant press conference Tuesday celebrating what…
Gavin Newsom Teaches Mark Carney How To Blame Wildfires On Trump While Cutting Firefighting Budgets
OTTAWA, CANADA — With wildfires once again spreading across Canada and toxic…
Mayor Mamdani Condemns Church Arsonists For Not Using Halal Matches
NEW YORK—Responding to yet another church fire this week, Mayor Mamdani held…
