CDC Declares Chuck Schumer’s Fourth Of July BBQ A Public Health Emergency
ATLANTA, GEORGIA— The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) elevated Senate…
Mayor Mamdani Executes Defiant Air Conditioner To Enforce Heatwave Edict
NEW YORK — Standing before a high-definition camera in front of City…
Mitch McConnell’s Office Insists Proof Of Life Photo Is Authentic
WASHINGTON — Hoping to put weeks of speculation about the senator's whereabouts…
Supreme Court Rules Babies Born At Disney World Are Intellectual Property Of Disney
WASHINGTON — In a devastating 5-4 decision that further entrenched the controversial "magic…
Trump Spends Afternoon Watching Migrants Fight In Steel Cage
WASHINGTON — Describing the event as a relaxing way to clear his…
Biden Elected President Of Retirement Home After 3 A.M. Ballot Dump Of 81 Million Votes
SUN CITY, FL—Residents of the Shady Acres Senior Living Community awoke Tuesday…
After SCOTUS Ruling, Clarence Thomas Revokes Amy Coney Barrett’s Conservative Card
WASHINGTON — Following her deciding vote in a 5-4 Supreme Court decision that…
Mamdani Vows To Defend Haitian Migrants’ Right To Backyard Cat Barbecues
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — In a defiant rebuke of the conservative…
Radical New York Democrats Celebrate Election Victory With 21-US Flag Burning Salute
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Following a sweeping string of primary victories for…
Newsom Demands Investigation Into Governor Responsible For California Fraud Scandal
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Calling the allegations "deeply disturbing," California Governor Gavin Newsom…
John Thune Explains He’s Just Not Ready For A Serious Relationship With SAVE Act
WASHINGTON — Senate Majority Leader John Thune sat down with reporters Tuesday…
Trump Spotted Quietly Placing JD Vance ‘I Did That’ Stickers On Iran Peace Deal
WASHINGTON — Just hours after signing a historic and highly controversial peace treaty…
