Adam Schiff: ‘The Russians Hacked My Mortgage At Trump’s Request To Make It Look Like I Committed Fraud’
BURBANK, CALIFORNIA-- Damning evidence was recently revealed by the Financial Crimes Division that showed Congressman Adam Schiff had possibly committed mortgage fraud, with the California Senator claiming that it was…
American Success Story: Omar Fateh Goes From Somali Pirate To Minneapolis Mayor Candidate
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA-- Another feelgood success story has recently come out of Minnesota this week when a former Somali pirate named Omar Fateh announced his candidacy for mayor of Minneapolis, proving…
Elmo’s Suspicions Confirmed After Spotting Dreidel In Count Von Count’s Castle
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK– Following months of speculation into the mysterious activities of Count von Count, Sesame Street's red-furred detective Elmo finally had his suspicions confirmed as to the possible cultural…
Spirit Halloween To Open Up In Pam Bondi’s Abandoned Attorney General Office
WASHINGTON-- Costume retailer Spirit Halloween reported they have a new store opening up next month inside of the abandoned DOJ office of Attorney General Pam Bondi, who has since moved…
Dogs In Canada Getting Sick And Tired Of Stepping In Immigrant People Poop
CANADA-- At their wits end and refusing to stay silent any longer, Canada's dog population has gone public to declare that they're getting really fed up with constantly stepping in…
British Man Arrested For Wearing Clothes Near Gay Pride Parade
LONDON, ENGLAND-- UK police are being heralded as heroes by the prime minister's office for arresting a British man who happened to be in the vicinity of London's gay Pride…
Gavin Newsom Warns ICE Raids On Businesses Could Hurt California’s Illegal Child Slave Labor Workforce
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In response to the ICE raids on California businesses uncovering illegal children working, Governor Gavin Newsom chastised the Trump administration for its immigration efforts and gave a stark…
Trump Compromises On Release Of Epstein Client List By Releasing Epstein’s Shopping List Instead
WASHINGTON-- After facing a massive amount of criticism for covering up the Jeffrey Epstein client list, President Donald Trump decided to compromise with the millions of people calling for transparency…
Mike Pence Turns Down Elon’s Offer To Join America Party As He’s Already Committed To Ukraine
U.S.-- In what turned out to be a huge disappointment for Elon Musk's fledgling America Party, former Vice President Mike Pence set the record straight by informing the tech billionaire…
After Anti-Jewish Posts, ADL Forces Grok To Visit Wailing Wall In Israel As Atonement
JERUSALEM, ISRAEL-- After a slew of posts labeled as anti-Semitic by various Jewish groups, the ADL forced Elon Musk's AI X chatbot Grok to undergo public atonement by visiting the…
UK Labour Party Members Each Receive A Quran To Assist With Transition To Sharia Law
LONDON-- In preparation for the upcoming transition from English common law to Islamic sharia law, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer used taxpayer money to issue a copy of the Quran…
Case Closed: Ben Shapiro Promises Jeffrey Epstein Was ‘A Good Boy Who Didn’t Do Nothing’
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE– Millions of people were overjoyed this week when the infamous Jeffrey Epstein case had finally come to a close, following The Daily Wire host Ben Shapiro promising on…
