PARIS, FRANCE– In an odd twist to an already contentious slander lawsuit, Brigitte Macron, the wife of French President Emmanuel Macron, has submitted what she calls “conclusive proof” of her female birth in the slander lawsuit against American podcaster Candace Owens. The photographic evidence presented to the French court is a crude stick figure drawing of a woman, complete with rounded hips and the outline of breasts.
“This is the smoking gun,” declared Macron’s lawyer, waving the stick figure photo in front of reporters. “This drawing, clearly dated 1986, shows my client in her natural, feminine state. The outline of the feminine bust and hourglass-shaped figure are particularly damning evidence of her womanhood.”
When questioned about the obvious nature of the drawing, Macron’s team insisted it was a “rare, avant-garde photograph from the early days of French 1980s photography.” Brigitte Macron herself appeared in court, wearing a “I’m a Woman, the Science is Settled” t-shirt, and testified, “I remember the day this photo was taken like it was yesterday. I just finished taking a bath and asked my then 8-year-old future husband Emmanuel to take the photo.”
Candace Owens’ legal team has filed a motion to dismiss, calling the evidence “laughable” and “clearly a drawing of a stick figure with Brigitte’s head photoshopped on.” Owens tweeted, “If a stick figure is proof of womanhood, then I’m black.”
The Macron’s have vowed to press charges against Owens for “transphobic stick-figure denialism.” The case is set to continue next month, with the French government offering free gender-affirming surgery to anyone who testifies on Brigitte’s behalf.
