Mark Carney Ecstatic Over Which Elderly Air Canada Flight Attendant To Horse-Stomp First
TORONTO, CANADA-- Taking a page out of his predecessor Justin Trudeau's playbook, Prime Minister Mark Carney was seen gleefully deliberating which elderly Air Canada flight attendant he'd like to see,…
ICE Agents Arrest British Criminal Illegal Alien Trying To Sneak Into The U.S.
JOINT BASE ANDREWS, MARYLAND-- In a major win for both the American as well as British people, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents nabbed a notorious British "criminal illegal…
Hillary Clinton Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction When Human Skin Suit Falls Off During Interview
CHAPPAQUA, NEW YORK-- While giving a live interview with podcast host Jessica Tarlov on a recent episode of Raging Moderates, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton suffered an embarrassing wardrobe…
FBI Raids Democrat’s Home, Seizes Dozens Of ‘Deadly’ Subway Sandwiches In Foiled Attack
WASHINGTON-- In a dramatic pre-dawn raid that left local residents traumatized, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) announced the arrest of a local man for allegedly plotting to attack federal…
Gavin Newsom Arrested For Flinging His Own Panties At Federal Officer In Powerful Protest
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- In a powerful protest against President Donald Trump's tough immigration policies, California Governor Gavin Newsom was arrested yesterday on felony charges after allegedly hurling a pair of…
Zelensky Caught Spying On Trump-Putin Alaska Summit Disguised As Table Lamp
ANCHORAGE, ALASKA-- During a top-secret summit meeting between President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky was caught trying to infiltrate the meeting by disguising himself…
Dog Tests Positive For Rabies After Being Bitten By Rabid Dr. Fauci
WASHINGTON-- A wave of stunned silence and panicked barks swept across the nation today as a beloved beagle dog named Charlie was confirmed to have tested positive for rabies following…
Friedrich Merz Reports Wallet Missing After Emotional Hug With Zelensky
BERLIN, GERMANY-- During today's high-profile meeting with European leaders in Germany, German Chancellor Friedrich Merz reported his wallet missing after a seemingly emotional hug with Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky, leading…
UK Government Denies Human Rights Abuses, Citing ‘Citizens Not Considered Human’
LONDON-- In a stunning rebuttal to international condemnation, the UK government, led by Prime Minister Keir Starmer, has dismissed accusations of human rights abuses against its own citizens, particularly native…
To Spite Trump, Gavin Newsom Declares California A Sanctuary State For Crime
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- Driven by a deep-seated desire to infuriate President Donald Trump, Governor Gavin Newsom officially designated California as the nation's first sanctuary state for crime, a policy extended to…
PM Mark Carney Burns Down Canada’s Forests To Prevent Any Future Wildfires
CANADA-- In what some experts are calling a radical new strategy to combat Canada's perennial wildfire crisis, Prime Minister Mark Carney announced that he has intentionally started burning all Canadian…
CNN: Why Weren’t There Any White People Present To Stop Chicago Shooting In Black Neighborhood?
U.S.-- In a groundbreaking primetime special last night, CNN anchor Jake Tapper posed a serious question to his audience of five people that he declared "a nation is afraid to…
