Emmanuel Macron’s Wife Brigitte Provides Photo Evidence Confirming She’s A Woman
PARIS, FRANCE-- In an odd twist to an already contentious slander lawsuit, Brigitte Macron, the wife of French President Emmanuel Macron, has submitted what she calls "conclusive proof" of her…
Mark Carney Honors Notorious Serial Killer For Reducing Canada’s Carbon Footprint
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In a climate change ceremony at Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Mark Carney awarded the Order of Canada to Ted Lee Bateman, the infamous Canadian serial killer convicted of…
U.S. Sends Goat Ambassador To Afghanistan To Woo Taliban Into Returning Bagram Air Base
WASHINGTON-- In a bizarre attempt to reclaim Bagram Air Base from the Taliban, President Donald Trump has dispatched a highly-trained goat named "Lola" as ambassador to Afghanistan in an effort…
Trump Moves Pam Bondi’s Desk To Fox News Studios So Maybe She’ll Actually Do Something
WASHINGTON-- In an attempt to boost the productivity of his top law officer, President Donald Trump ordered the relocation of Attorney General Pam Bondi's entire desk to the Fox News…
Democrats Claim Founding Fathers Were Actually Indian H-1B Workers Who Built America
WASHINGTON-- In a bizarre attempt to justify their stance on immigration, prominent Democrats have launched a campaign claiming that the Founding Fathers of the United States were not, in fact,…
Gavin Newsom Caught Watching Footage Of California Wildfire Destruction To Get In The Mood
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In a revelation that has sent shock and disgust across the Golden State, Governor Gavin Newsom was caught getting himself in the mood for sex by watching a…
Suspended Jimmy Kimmel Starts Support Group For Unemployed Celebrities Who Wore Blackface
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- As a way to deal with the stress of being held accountable for their actions, Jimmy Kimmel, the former late-night host who was recently suspended for his…
Keir Starmer Assures Trump UK Has ‘Robust Free Speech’ As On-Screen Chyron Lists Recent Speech-Related Arrests
LONDON-- As the UK continues to fight accusations of banning free speech, Prime Minister Keir Starmer stood beside visiting U.S. President Donald Trump today, unequivocally assuring him that the United…
Studio Audience Relieved They Don’t Have To Pretend To Find Canceled Jimmy Kimmel Funny Anymore
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA- In what many are calling “the first funny thing to happen on Jimmy Kimmel Live in years, late-night host Jimmy Kimmel's studio audience erupted into actual, unscripted…
Ben & Jerry’s Co-Founder Resigns After Company Rejects His ‘Death To America’ Ice Cream Flavor Proposal
BURLINGTON, VERMONT-- Citing creative differences, Jerry Greenfield announced his resignation from Ben & Jerry's board of directors after parent company Unilever rejected his proposal for a new ice cream flavor…
Keir Starmer Wears American Flag Hijab In Honor Of Trump’s UK Visit
LONDON, UK-- In honor of the US president's visit to England, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer greeted President Donald Trump at Heathrow Airport wearing a custom-made red, white, and blue…
After 3 Years, FBI Finally Narrows Down Waldo’s Location To ‘Somewhere On The Page’
WASHINGTON-- In a shocking press conference, the FBI announced today that after a grueling three-year, $47 million investigation, they have finally pinpointed the elusive character Waldo to "somewhere on the…
