BRUSSELS– Pushing back against accusations of authoritarian overreach, European Union (EU) officials held a press conference Friday to clarify that they are “absolutely not censoring Americans,” they are merely implementing a “harmless, administrative, pre-approval protocol” for every syllable uttered within the borders of the United States.
“This is not censorship,” said EU Chief Ursula von der Leyen while the words “Approved American Vocabulary” scrolled across a large screen behind her. “We just want to ensure that every American utterance meets our rigorous standards of not offending anyone, anywhere, ever. It’s a small price to pay for the privilege of existing in the same universe as us.”
Chief von der Leyen emphasized that the program is voluntary, except for the fines, penalties, mandatory training modules, threats of arrests from overseas, and occasional dignity seizure for non-compliance.
The new proposed guidelines follow a series of escalating EU fines against Twitter/X for allowing Americans to speak online without the approval of the EU Commission.
The EU Commission later stressed that calling them anti-free speech is misinformation, which is a punishable offense under their new speech regulations.
