California Proposes ‘Burglary Equity Act’ To Ensure White Neighborhoods Robbed More Often
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In order to address the systemic racial disparities in California's burglary rates, the Democrat-controlled State Legislature has introduced the "Burglary Equity Act" (BEA). The landmark bill aims to…
Mark Carney Visits Keir Starmer For Ideas On How To Destroy Canada Faster
LONDON, ENGLAND-- In a blatant display of intercontinental tyranny, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney jetted off to London yesterday to meet with his UK counterpart, Keir Starmer to learn from…
UK Government Assures Citizens Digital IDs Are Not Mandatory, Except For Travel, Work, Banking, Healthcare, Shopping, Eating, And Breathing
LONDON, UK-- In an effort to ease the minds of worried British citizens, Prime Minister Keir Starmer reassured the nation that the new digital ID system is "entirely optional" unless…
Local Man Uses ADL’s Extremist Files To Identify Trustworthy Businesses And Individuals
OAKHAVEN, OHIO-- A local 32-year-old man named John Smith of suburban Ohio has taken to scouring the Anti-Defamation League’s (ADL) Extremist Files, not to avoid their alleged hate groups, but…
Federal Agents Deploy Soap And Deodorant To Disperse Antifa Rioters At Chicago ICE Facility
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS-- A tense standoff took a bizarre and sudsy turn Friday evening after federal agents were able to successfully disperse a group of Antifa rioters near a Chicago ICE…
Nation Begs US Government To Shut Down So They’ll Finally Stop Making Things Worse For A Little While
U.S.-- In a rare display of bipartisan unity, millions of Americans from coast to coast are fervently praying for the US government to finally shut down once and for all.…
BREAKING: James Comey Clears Himself Of All Charges After Rigorous 30-Second Self-Investigation
WASHINGTON-- Only hours after a federal grand jury indicted him on multiple charges, former FBI Director James Comey has concluded a thorough investigation into his own alleged felonies, finding himself…
Keir Starmer Promises Digital ID Will Only Be Used To Track White British Citizens
LONDON, UK - Under the guise of tackling illegal immigration, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer announced the rollout of mandatory digital ID cards to "revolutionize how we manage identity in…
Dallas ICE Shooter With Terrible Aim Revealed As Stormtrooper
DALLAS. TEXAS-- Only hours after the incident occurred, authorities have confirmed that the gunman responsible for the recent shooting at a Dallas ICE facility was none other than TK-421, a…
Gavin Newsom Forces ICE Agents To Unmask Just Like He Did During His COVID Mask Mandate
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- Being hailed by progressives as a critical step toward accountability, California Governor Gavin Newsom signed a bill Tuesday requiring ICE agents to remove their masks while operating in…
Secret Service Agents Suffer PTSD Flashback After Trump Gets Stuck On Sloped Escalator
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Still suffering from PTSD from last year's slightly sloped roof incident, Secret Service agents tasked with protecting President Donald Trump froze in terror Tuesday after…
Pregnant Liberals Start Snorting Coke After RFK Jr. Claims Cocaine Bad For Unborn Babies
U.S.-- In response to a recent health announcement by RFK Jr., thousands of pregnant liberal women have taken to social media to declare they're intentionally snorting cocaine daily after HHS…
