Edward Snowden Voted Most Likely To Keep A Secret In High School
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND-- Former United States government contractor and infamous whistle-blower Edward Snowden was voted most likely to keep a secret, according to former classmates at the school where he took his…
New Sex Cream Helps Chimps Last Longer In Bed
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND-- Scientists from Baltimore Animal College confirmed Tuesday that they've invented a sex cream called Potent Primate made specifically for chimpanzees, saying that most chimps are embarrassed by their…
School Buses To Be Repainted Due To Confusion With Taxis
WASHINGTON-- The Department of Education put out a statement today that said, due to mass confusion, every school bus across the country is set to be repainted in colors that won't…
Moe Howard Deathbed Confession: I Played All Five Stooges
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- In a new tell-all book set to hit bookstores next week, Moe Howard, the most famous of The Three Stooges, reportedly confessed to a man that he…
Bill Clinton Secretly Campaigning For Trump’s Wife
LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS-- Recently uncovered audio recordings submitted by an anonymous source to various news media outlets show former president Bill Clinton telling voters to vote for Melania Trump as president of the United…
Squirrel Busted For Indecent Exposure After Video Goes Viral
REDWOOD, NEW JERSEY-- A video that is going viral shows an Eastern grey squirrel pleasuring himself in a park in front of numerous families, including children and other pets. The video,…
8 Year Old Whiz Kid Beats 20 Adult Chess Masters At Once
VIENNA, AUSTRIA-- An 8 year old boy with learning disabilities defeated twenty male chess champions all at once in Austria's yearly chess tournament, making the young boy the oldest champion…
New Series ‘Anthony Morestain: Farts Unknown’ Is A Breath Of Fresh Air, Says Critics
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA-- A spin-off of CNN's popular food show Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown called Anthony Morestain: Farts Unknown is being praised by critics and has already surpassed Parts Unknown in ratings,…
Leaf Blower Busted By Police
SEATTLE, WASHINGTON-- A Seattle man was arrested today by police inside a local park for a string of leaf blowing incidents, ending a five year search for the man known in…
This Photo Has The Internet Outraged
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- The internet was outraged about an Old Navy ad of a woman wearing a multi-colored dress for their new fall Pumpkin collection line, which features two models…
The Happiest Family In The World Gets Their Own Show On TLC
HAPPY CAMP, CALIFORNIA-- The happiest family in the world will be getting their own television show on the TLC channel, making this the 587th new reality show to premiere this season. Hailing…
Azealia Banks Claims She’s A Victim Of Polite Supremacy
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA-- Music sensation Azealia Banks is claiming that she is a victim of "polite supremacy" and that she didn't get booted off of Twitter until she insulted politeness. Banks'…
