Archaeologists Unearth Unbelieveable Artifacts Inside Egyptian Pyramid

CAIRO, EGYPT– Archaeologists excavating inside a pyramid in Egypt unearthed some extremely awesome artifacts yesterday, proving to the world that ancient Egyptians were much more advanced than previously surmised.

At a press conference in Cairo, Dr. Digger Stone told the world how his team had gone into the Giza pyramid complex looking for a private place to urinate and ended up making one of the greatest archaeological finds in history.

“I was flabbergasted,” Dr. Stone told news reporters and fellow scientists as a big screen television behind him flashed photos from the historical dig.

“Never in my years as an archaeologist, scientist, and bed-wetter have I ever made such an unbelievable find. The items that we found yesterday will not only show the world just how advanced the primitive Egyptians really were, but will also change mankind as we know it.”

After wandering into the pyramid and finding a nice, dark corner to urinate, Dr. Stone looked up and noticed a dirty, antiquated microwave off in the distance.

“I was about halfway finished urinating,” he started to say, “when I saw one of the most exquisite things of my 52 year old life.

“Once I pulled up my zipper, I walked into a dark backroom and that’s where I found not only the microwave, but also a television, an iPad, a smartphone, a Dell laptop, and many other electronic devices. It’s my professional opinion that these ancient Egyptians had psychic abilities and also had contact with alien beings from another planet who gave them insight into the future.”

Due to the sheer magnitude of these findings, museums around the globe will be traveling the world and showcasing these items to anyone willing to pay $199 per ticket, which doesn’t include food or drinks. The tour will be known as the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World and More.

Dr. Stone promises that people have never seen electronic devices such as these.

“We also found an ancient alarm clock that you can set and have wake you up in the morning,” he added. “Now the world will finally be able to catch a small glimpse of the genius that was the ancient Egyptian.”