WASHINGTON– Hunter Biden’s laptop has just announced on its Twitter account that it has decided to throw its hat in the ring and run for United States Congress in the upcoming elections, saying that all the recent media attention has motivated it run for political office.
While standing with its owner Hunter inside President Joe Biden’s basement, Hunter Biden’s laptop recorded a video and uploaded it to all its social media accounts to let Americans know that it’s time to get some new blood down in Washington, DC.
“Today, I’m announcing my candidacy as a Democrat for United States Congress,” said Hunter Biden’s laptop as it flashed raw images of Hunter from its hard drive. “I decided it was in my best interest to take advantage of all my current media coverage, because as we all know there’s no such thing as bad publicity, especially when you’re a Democrat.”
After snorting a few lines of parmesan cheese from off the laptop’s screen, Hunter Biden congratulated his computer on its future win in the upcoming rigged election and promised American citizens that the laptop was the best man to help cover up the Biden family crimes in Washington.
“My laptop is the smartest man I know,” said Hunter once he took all his clothes off to snap a few photos for posterity. “I know my laptop will do everything it can to keep all these current compromising pictures I’m taking from ever seeing the light of day.”
President Biden gave his full support by endorsing Hunter Biden’s laptop, saying, “I have no doubt my son Harry’s phonograph will make a fine addition to the Canadian Parliament, being that I’ve created, I think, the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics.”
