Meet The 72 Year Old Man Who Still Believes In Santa Claus

TACOMA, WASHINGTON– While most children eventually come to the conclusion that Santa Claus doesn’t actually exist, the same can’t be said for one elderly man who wants the world to know that he still believes in the jolly fat man in the red suit who somehow fits into chimneys every Christmas.

In an interview with CNN news host Wolf Blitzer, Santa Claus’ biggest fan Arata Haruo explained his yearly Christmas rituals and also why he loves Santa Claus so much.

“Santa Claus is a very honorable man,” Haruo said with a wrinkled smile, wearing a red and green wool sweater in the middle of July. “I remember when I was a young boy living in Japan, my mother used to tell me about the honorable and hardworking man who would deliver millions of gifts every year without the slightest complaint. His willingness to undertake such a difficult task and still remain jolly has earned him reverent status in Japan.”

After hard-nosed Wolf Blitzer wiped away a few cinematic tears for the cameras, he pressed Haruo for more details.

“That’s amazing, Mr. Haruo,” Blitzer said with an upside down smirk. “Even though I can appreciate your loving devotion to the idea of Santa Claus, you do realize that an obese man wearing a red costume and driving a reindeer cart doesn’t actually exist, don’t you?”

“Nonsense,” Haruo shouted angrily as he pointed his wooden cane in Blitzer’s face. “How dare you speak ill of the man that brings so much joy to so many people. If I wasn’t an old man I would take you outside and split you in half with this cane.”

While it is true that Haruo would easily split Blitzer in two with his cane, the old man attests that Santa Claus is his inspiration for promoting peace and goodwill among men.

“Every Christmas Eve,” Haruo added, “I sit in my rocking chair in the dark, waiting for the greatest man in the world to show. After 72 years I have yet to see the man in my home who reportedly weighs over 400 pounds, but mark my words, Mr. Blitzer, one day before I die I will split you in half with this cane.”