Conjoined Twins Disown Each Other Over Difference Of Political Views
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS-- For the last six years, conjoined twins John and Jack haven't spoken to one another due to a differing of political viewpoints, with the sibling relationship turning especially…
White House Commemorates 9/11 By Sending Another $3 Trillion To Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- To celebrate the atrocities and lives lost on the anniversary of 9/11, President Joe Biden has promised grieving Americans that he plans on commemorating the horrible event by sending…
‘The View’ Ratings Increases After Hosts Replaced With Mannequins
NEW YORK, NEW YORK--Producers of The View were pleasantly surprised when the daytime talk show's ratings increased dramatically after the hosts were replaced with mannequins to fill in their spots…
Biden Giving $2.6 Billion To Americans–Wait, Nevermind, It’s Going To Ukraine Again
WASHINGTON-- Millions of Americans were thrilled after hearing the rumors that President Joe Biden was set to give $2.6 billion to the American people to help pay for the rising…
Gavin Newsom Tells Californians Not To Use A/C While Wearing Parka And Drinking Hot Chocolate
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- While dressed in a winter parka and drinking scalding hot chocolate, California Governor Gavin Newsom urged residents to save energy by turning off their air conditioning and fans…
Canada’s Trudeau Bans Baseball Bats After Rise In Knife Crimes
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Due to the massive spike of knife crimes in Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has immediately taken an ingenious proactive approach by banning all baseball bats inside the…
Hillary Clinton Graces This Month’s Cover Of ‘Cankles Magazine’
U.S.-- In what some are calling a display of raw unorthodox beauty, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has bared it all from the thighs down inside the latest edition…
Prince Harry Grows Frustrated Begging Wife Meghan To Start Leaving Toilet Seat Down
SANTA BARBARA, CALIFORNIA-- Prince Harry confided in friends that he's been growing increasingly weary of his American wife Meghan Markle constantly leaving the toilet seat up inside their $15 million…
In Honor Of Labor Day, Biden Allows Each Family To Share One Meatless Hot Dog
WASHINGTON-- In honor of all the people who lost their jobs under his administration, President Joe Biden has graciously allowed every American family to share one meatless hot dog in…
Biden Cooks BBQed MAGA Republicans In Celebration Of Labor Day
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to unify the country, President Joe Biden celebrated the Labor Day holiday by cooking up BBQed MAGA Republicans on the White House lawn and gave a…
Predator Child Tells Mom There’s A Scary Nancy Pelosi Monster Hiding Under His Bed
YAUTJA PRIME-- Many young children are scared believing that there's monsters living in their bedrooms at night. But in the case of a young predator alien, there really was an…
Media Praises Biden For Executing MAGA Republican During Riveting Speech
WASHINGTON-- President Joe Biden is being heralded as a hero by mainstream media outlets for his execution of a MAGA Republican during his recent speech, with some leftwing political pundits…
