Obama Drone Strikes Migrants To Keep Them Off His Martha’s Vineyard Property
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- In order to force back the encroachment of the staggering fifty immigrants who were dropped off at Martha's Vineyard, Barack Obama picked up where he left off inside…
It’s 2036, Bernie Bros Saying Sanders Still Has Chance To Win 2020 Nomination
MONTPELIER, VERMONT-- Still holding out hope that Bernie Sanders will get the 2020 Democratic nomination, Sanders supporters say that they're not giving up hope that the Vermont Senator may still…
Biden Proudly Shows Reporters His Rare Soiled Diaper Collection
WASHINGTON-- The most popular president of all time Joe Biden has let the world into his personal life by showing news reporters his ultrarare, cool, hip collection of used diapers…
Prominent LGBT Group Fights For Fetus Trans Rights
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- A well-known LGBT rights group out of California has taken on a new progressive cause by campaigning for trans rights for fetuses still inside the mother's womb,…
Biden Upgrades Trump Supporters From Semi-Fascist To Super-Duper-Mostest-Ultimate-Maximum-Fascists
HELL-- While giving a speech in front of the Gates of Hell along with his father Satan, President Joe Biden declared that the dangerous MAGA Republicans have been promoted from…
Dog Wakes Up To Strange Woman In His Bed After Wild Night Out
ROME, ITALY-- A dog was out on the town with a group of his canine friends when he got drunk drinking out of random public toilets and then woke up…
Conjoined Twins Disown Each Other Over Difference Of Political Views
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS-- For the last six years, conjoined twins John and Jack haven't spoken to one another due to a differing of political viewpoints, with the sibling relationship turning especially…
White House Commemorates 9/11 By Sending Another $3 Trillion To Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- To celebrate the atrocities and lives lost on the anniversary of 9/11, President Joe Biden has promised grieving Americans that he plans on commemorating the horrible event by sending…
‘The View’ Ratings Increases After Hosts Replaced With Mannequins
NEW YORK, NEW YORK--Producers of The View were pleasantly surprised when the daytime talk show's ratings increased dramatically after the hosts were replaced with mannequins to fill in their spots…
Biden Giving $2.6 Billion To Americans–Wait, Nevermind, It’s Going To Ukraine Again
WASHINGTON-- Millions of Americans were thrilled after hearing the rumors that President Joe Biden was set to give $2.6 billion to the American people to help pay for the rising…
Gavin Newsom Tells Californians Not To Use A/C While Wearing Parka And Drinking Hot Chocolate
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- While dressed in a winter parka and drinking scalding hot chocolate, California Governor Gavin Newsom urged residents to save energy by turning off their air conditioning and fans…
Canada’s Trudeau Bans Baseball Bats After Rise In Knife Crimes
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Due to the massive spike of knife crimes in Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has immediately taken an ingenious proactive approach by banning all baseball bats inside the…
