Greg Abbott Proudly Announces He Has Finally Secured Enough H-1B Visas To Replace Every Last Worker In Texas
AUSTIN, TEXAS—Standing in front of a massive "Texas First" banner and surrounded…
D.C. Swamp Holds Candlelight Vigil For Ousted RINO Republicans
WASHINGTON — In a rare, tearful display of true bipartisan solidarity, thousands…
Chuck Schumer Praises John Thune For Being The Best Democrat In The Senate
WASHINGTON — Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer stunned reporters after publicly praising…
Dead Voters Beg Congress To Pass SAVE Act So They Can Finally Rest In Peace
U.S. —Citing extreme exhaustion and a desperate desire for eternal slumber, a…
Senate Leader John Thune Refuses To Bring SAVE Act To Floor, Citing Grave Danger Of Accidentally Winning Midterms
WASHINGTON—After returning from another three week vacation, Senate Majority Leader John Thune…
Nation Beginning To Suspect Congress Is Not Acting In Their Best Interests
WASHINGTON — Following decades of stagnant wages, crumbling infrastructure, and the rising…
Republicans Worried Passing SAVE Act May Lead To Election Integrity
WASHINGTON — Expressing what they described as a quiet but deeply uncomfortable concern,…
Unemployed Dan Crenshaw Joins Somali Pirates After Realizing Plunder More Lucrative Than Insider Trading
MOGADISHU, SOMALIA — Following a devastating primary defeat that left him ousted…
Lindsey Graham Wakes Up In Cold Sweat After Horrifying Nightmare Where He Had To Fight In One Of His Own Wars
WASHINGTON — Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) awoke screaming in the early morning…
Republicans Demand Trump Stop Implementing GOP Platform So They Can Keep Fundraising Off Pretending To Support It
WASHINGTON—In an emergency closed-door meeting Friday, a coalition of concerned Senate Republicans…
Trump Kicks Off State Of The Union By Waterboarding CNN Reporter
WASHINGTON—President Donald Trump opened his 2026 State of the Union address Tuesday…
Congress Holds Epstein’s Pilot In Contempt For Refusing To Answer Any Questions
WASHINGTON — A tense congressional hearing erupted into outrage Thursday after Congress…