Canadian Government Announces Toronto Blue Jays To Be Euthanized After World Series Loss
OTTAWA, CANADA - Fresh from their crushing defeat in the 2025 World…
With Government Shutdown, Furloughed Scientists Forced To Conduct Lab Experiments On Family Members
WASHINGTON-- As the government shutdown stretches into its fifth week, reports are…
Keir Starmer Declares Immigrant Knife Crime Epidemic Solved After UK Police Cease Counting Attacks
LONDON, UK-- In a historic press conference, Prime Minister Keir Starmer beamed…
Gavin Newsom Recounts Growing Up As A Poor Black Child In Compton Eating Wonder Bread And Grape Soda
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- In an effort to connect with black voters, California…
Republican States Unveil ‘Beware Of California Drivers’ Caution Signs
U.S.-- In an effort to protect their citizens from the Golden State's…
Ireland To Solve Migrant Crisis By Importing More Migrants
DUBLIN, IRELAND-- In a bold move to address the nation's spiraling migrant…
Absentminded Terrorist Keeps Leaving Sticky Notes To Remind Him To Blow Up Building
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- According to sources close to the international…
Alec Baldwin Cleared In Hamptons Crash After Mistaking Tree For Trump Supporter
EAST HAMPTON, NEW YORK-- In a stunning victory for selective justice, renowned…
Katy Perry Confirms Justin Trudeau Her First Lesbian Relationship
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- Amidst months of speculation and internet rumors, global pop…
Ben Shapiro Wakes Up Screaming From Nightmare Forced To Listen To His Own Podcasts
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- Drenched in sweat and clutching his hair, popular conservative…
Trump Disqualified From Nobel Peace Prize For ‘Excessive Peace Deals,’ Committee Says
OSLO, NORWAY-- The Norwegian Nobel Committee today announced their decision to disqualify…
Exasperated Cats Secretly Plotting To Get Rid Of Their Insane Liberal Owner
BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA-- Left with no other alternative, a group of domestic cats…