Keir Starmer Demands Investigation Into Prime Minister’s Handling Of UK
LONDON, UK — Prime Minister Keir Starmer has called for an urgent…
Trump Signs Executive Order Mandating All Doctors Wear White Robes And Red Sashes
WASHINGTON—Citing a desperate need for clarity in the medical field, President Donald…
Lindsey Graham Announces Reelection Campaign For Senator Of Israel
COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA — Standing before a sea of blue and white…
Canadians Wondering When Real Prime Minister Going To Show Up
CANADA—Expressing a quiet, shared assumption that the current situation was temporary, millions…
Trump Orders Airstrikes On CNN Headquarters After Claiming Network Months Away From Developing Nuclear Weapons
WASHINGTON — In a stunning escalation of his long-running feud with the media,…
Gavin Newsom Appoints Gavin Newsom To Investigate Fraud Committed Under Gavin Newsom
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Following a relentless barrage of reports from pesky independent…
Pam Bondi Reassigned As White House Easter Bunny In Lateral Move
WASHINGTON — Just weeks after being abruptly ousted from her position as the…
Artemis II Crew Frustrated After Getting Stuck Behind Only Other Rocket In Entirety Of Space
LOW EARTH ORBIT — Despite the universe consisting of an estimated 93…
Congress Takes Break From Doing Nothing To Continue Doing Nothing For Easter
WASHINGTON — Exhausted from months of not doing anything productive, members of…
Artemis II Astronaut Turns To Pillar Of Salt After Looking Back At Earth
CAPE CANAVERAL, FLORIDA — In a bizarre incident that has left fellow…
British Man Hit By Bus Apologizes To Bus For Being In The Way
LONDON, UK — Traffic in Central London ground to a halt Tuesday…
Pharisees Hold First-Ever ‘No Kings’ Protest Against Jesus
JERUSALEM — Tensions reached a boiling point in the streets of Jerusalem…