Ilhan Omar Argues Embezzling $250 Million Was Victimless Crime Since Kids Were Made Up Anyway
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — Standing before a crowded press pool on Friday, Representative…
GoFundMe Launched For Financially Struggling Elon Musk After Net Worth Falls Below $1 Trillion
AUSTIN, TEXAS — In response to Elon Musk's heartbreaking fall below the…
RFK Jr. Discovered Sleeping Upside Down On White House Ceiling To Improve Circulation
WASHINGTON — White House officials confirmed that Health and Human Services Secretary…
Democrats Vow To Protect Democracy By Making Future Voter Fraud Impossible To Detect
TRENTON, NEW JERSEY — Following the horrifying revelation that a New Jersey…
Republicans Celebrate Amnesty Deal Where Democrats Got Everything And Republicans Pretended To Fight
WASHINGTON — House Republicans held a triumphant press conference Tuesday celebrating what…
Illegal Alien Learns Olive Garden Has Stricter ID Requirements Than U.S. Elections
ORLANDO, FLORIDA — Saying the experience had left him deeply confused about…
Canada Announces $100 Billion Ukraine Aid Package To Combat Canadian Wildfires
OTTAWA, CANADA — With record wildfires continuing to burn across Canada while…
FDA Approves Taco Bell As New Weight-Loss Drug
SILVER SPRING, MARYLAND — In a landmark decision for the American diet…
Gavin Newsom Teaches Mark Carney How To Blame Wildfires On Trump While Cutting Firefighting Budgets
OTTAWA, CANADA — With wildfires once again spreading across Canada and toxic…
Mark Carney Celebrates Grocery Inflation Slowdown After Canadians Can No Longer Afford Groceries
OTTAWA — Touting a massive economic victory for the middle class, Prime…
Raytheon, Lockheed Martin Lower Flags To Half-Mast For Top Salesman Lindsey Graham
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA — Defense contractors across the country entered an official period…
Bigfoot Researchers Believe They Have Captured Rare Footage Of Wild Mitch McConnell
KENTUCKY — A team of veteran Bigfoot researchers announced this week they…